1 00:00:03,643 --> 00:00:15,711 Subtitle Indonesia belum tersedia 1 00:00:43,643 --> 00:00:45,711 Yeah. Mmm-hmm. 2 00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:50,549 - Mmm-hmm. Yeah, keep doing that. Okay. Okay. 3 00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:54,019 Oh, Larry! - Oh... Uh, I'm sorry, help me out here. 4 00:00:54,021 --> 00:00:56,221 - Suzanne. - Oh, Susan! 5 00:00:56,223 --> 00:00:58,991 No! Suzanne. - I'm sorry. I meant to say Susan. 6 00:00:58,993 --> 00:01:01,026 No. Suzanne. 7 00:01:01,028 --> 00:01:02,795 Oh, Suzanne! 8 00:01:04,932 --> 00:01:07,266 - Oh. 9 00:01:07,268 --> 00:01:10,269 - Yeah. - You are amazing. 10 00:01:10,271 --> 00:01:11,837 - Well... 11 00:01:11,839 --> 00:01:14,173 I could never have reached those heights of passion without you. 12 00:01:14,175 --> 00:01:17,409 Actually, you did reach those heights of passion without me. 13 00:01:18,611 --> 00:01:21,113 Oh, God, you are so damn hot. 14 00:01:21,115 --> 00:01:23,682 Yeah. Right there, Larry. That's it. 15 00:01:23,684 --> 00:01:25,717 - Don't stop. - Larry! 16 00:01:26,419 --> 00:01:27,753 What? 17 00:01:29,722 --> 00:01:31,757 What? 18 00:01:31,759 --> 00:01:36,028 - So, how about some breakfast? - I couldn't possibly. 19 00:01:39,399 --> 00:01:42,634 - You see, Su... - Zanne! 20 00:01:42,636 --> 00:01:43,969 You see, Zanne, 21 00:01:43,971 --> 00:01:46,572 I know you'd want me to have breakfast, 22 00:01:46,574 --> 00:01:49,475 date for a while, get married, start a family, 23 00:01:49,477 --> 00:01:51,443 plants roots in the community, 24 00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:54,179 join the local church, synagogue or a polygamous cult, 25 00:01:54,181 --> 00:01:56,181 but that's not my speed. 26 00:01:56,183 --> 00:02:00,552 If I stay on the ground too long, the sky starts to beckon. 27 00:02:00,554 --> 00:02:02,754 Don't you ever get tired of that lifestyle, 28 00:02:02,756 --> 00:02:04,557 flying from place to place all the time? 29 00:02:04,558 --> 00:02:07,593 Every once in a while, I wake up in a cold sweat, 30 00:02:07,595 --> 00:02:10,829 my entire being enveloped by a crushing, empty loneliness 31 00:02:10,831 --> 00:02:13,799 that physically presses down on me till I can barely breathe. 32 00:02:15,101 --> 00:02:17,469 But then I ignore it and it usually passes. 33 00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:19,638 That doesn't sound too healthy. 34 00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:23,809 Well, mind-blowing sex and free medical advice. 35 00:02:23,811 --> 00:02:26,879 - Zanne, what don't you give? - I have a surprise for you. 36 00:02:31,851 --> 00:02:34,253 Is that what I think it is? 37 00:02:34,255 --> 00:02:36,355 Here's something to remember me by. 38 00:02:36,956 --> 00:02:38,524 - Oh. 39 00:02:38,526 --> 00:02:42,027 You sure I can't get you anything? A little breakfast to go? 40 00:02:42,029 --> 00:02:44,763 Okay, but just something quick and easy. 41 00:04:36,075 --> 00:04:38,543 So... 42 00:04:38,545 --> 00:04:40,779 Mr. Gaye, 43 00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:43,448 um, you're a flight attendant? 44 00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:44,883 - Bingo. 45 00:04:44,885 --> 00:04:47,786 - And, uh, you want us to publish your book? - Yahtzee. 46 00:04:51,090 --> 00:04:53,610 - Oh, but the book is not written yet? - Twister. 47 00:04:55,428 --> 00:04:59,398 Uh, and it is the story of your life? 48 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:04,436 The Unauthorized Autobiography. 49 00:05:04,438 --> 00:05:06,571 The Unauthorized Autobiography? 50 00:05:06,573 --> 00:05:08,440 Um, 51 00:05:08,442 --> 00:05:12,277 - but an autobiography cannot be unauthorized. - Or can it? 52 00:05:12,279 --> 00:05:16,381 By writing the book, you're implicitly authorizing that it be written. 53 00:05:16,383 --> 00:05:18,016 Define "implicitly." 54 00:05:18,018 --> 00:05:21,453 Mr. Gaye, was there ever a time in the past that maybe I'm unaware of 55 00:05:21,455 --> 00:05:24,923 where I wiped my bottom with 20 minutes of your life? 56 00:05:24,925 --> 00:05:28,126 Define "aware" and "20." 57 00:05:28,128 --> 00:05:30,062 - Who arranged this meeting? - Uh... 58 00:05:30,064 --> 00:05:31,496 I... I did, sir. 59 00:05:32,265 --> 00:05:33,465 You're fired. 60 00:05:36,636 --> 00:05:39,304 Oh. And happy birthday. 61 00:05:39,306 --> 00:05:42,374 - Hey. - Would someone please show this jackass the door? 62 00:05:42,376 --> 00:05:44,076 I already saw the door on my way in. 63 00:05:44,078 --> 00:05:47,412 Now, sir, my life story yearns to be told. 64 00:05:47,414 --> 00:05:49,348 It's a tale of intrigue, adventure 65 00:05:49,350 --> 00:05:51,316 and life among the clouds. 66 00:05:51,851 --> 00:05:53,719 Mr. Gaye, 67 00:05:53,721 --> 00:05:56,588 if you held a gun to my head and said to me, 68 00:05:56,590 --> 00:05:59,458 "Hey, be less interested in my book" 69 00:05:59,460 --> 00:06:03,562 "or I will splatter the walls with the contents of your skull," 70 00:06:04,764 --> 00:06:06,331 I don't think I could. 71 00:06:07,467 --> 00:06:09,935 I guess I'll just have to take my story elsewhere. 72 00:06:14,208 --> 00:06:17,743 There are other fish in the publishing sea, my friend. 73 00:06:19,445 --> 00:06:22,013 Yes, in Manhattan, I'm gonna need two numbers, 74 00:06:22,015 --> 00:06:25,250 the first one is for Simon, and then I need one for Schuster. 75 00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:31,623 Look, if I walk out that door, guys, I'm not coming back! 76 00:06:31,625 --> 00:06:32,791 You got it? 77 00:06:34,127 --> 00:06:35,594 Oh, you think I'm bluffing? 78 00:06:36,262 --> 00:06:37,763 You think I'm bluffing? 79 00:06:37,765 --> 00:06:39,931 Good day, everyone! 80 00:06:50,543 --> 00:06:51,610 Okay. 81 00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:54,746 I'm headed to the elevator. 82 00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:57,783 - Do we have any kind of screening process here? 83 00:06:57,785 --> 00:07:00,051 Okay. I'm in the elevator. 84 00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:02,387 - Get out. - Yep. Yes. 85 00:07:03,356 --> 00:07:05,357 It's closing. The door is closing. 86 00:07:05,359 --> 00:07:08,393 - The door is closing. 87 00:07:09,595 --> 00:07:11,096 Last chance! 88 00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:14,266 If I get in a taxi, you're out of luck! 89 00:07:24,677 --> 00:07:26,695 Is there a quicker way to the airport, my friend? 90 00:07:26,721 --> 00:07:27,946 I'm running late for a flight. 91 00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:29,981 Sorry, man, it's like this all over. 92 00:07:29,983 --> 00:07:34,519 - Rush hour traffic, you know. - I know that accent. 93 00:07:34,521 --> 00:07:36,588 What part of Canada are you from? 94 00:07:38,357 --> 00:07:40,158 I'm from Jamaica. 95 00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:44,129 Yeah, but you obviously lived in Canada for a long time. 96 00:07:44,131 --> 00:07:46,064 No, man, never been there. 97 00:07:46,066 --> 00:07:49,768 But your parents were Canadian and spoke it around the house. 98 00:07:49,770 --> 00:07:50,936 No, man! 99 00:07:53,439 --> 00:07:57,876 Bet you never had to worry aboot traffic like this in Saskatchewan, 100 00:07:57,878 --> 00:07:59,444 eh? 101 00:08:00,646 --> 00:08:01,713 Eh? 102 00:08:36,082 --> 00:08:37,182 Who's that guy? 103 00:08:58,170 --> 00:09:00,405 I can help you with that bag. All right. 104 00:09:02,241 --> 00:09:05,544 Please be careful! I have my grandfather's remains in an urn up there. 105 00:09:05,546 --> 00:09:08,113 - I will, sir. - Excuse me! 106 00:09:08,115 --> 00:09:11,116 This woman claims she's in 9E, but that's my seat. 107 00:09:11,118 --> 00:09:14,119 I'll try to straighten that out. Okay? 108 00:09:14,121 --> 00:09:16,988 I can't remember if I ordered a kosher meal or not. Can you help me? 109 00:09:16,990 --> 00:09:19,870 Okay. If you can just give me one second, I will check that, I promise. 110 00:09:25,731 --> 00:09:28,466 Okay, people, please, please, please, okay? It's my very first flight 111 00:09:28,468 --> 00:09:31,603 and our lead attendant is not here, but I'm doing the best that I can. 112 00:09:31,605 --> 00:09:33,705 So, please, bear with me. 113 00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:40,145 Grandpa! 114 00:09:49,755 --> 00:09:51,256 Excuse me. 115 00:09:51,891 --> 00:09:53,358 Is there a problem here? 116 00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:55,293 Allow me. 117 00:10:11,477 --> 00:10:13,044 Anything else? 118 00:10:13,046 --> 00:10:14,179 She's in my seat. 119 00:10:16,816 --> 00:10:17,983 Oh. 120 00:10:17,985 --> 00:10:20,619 Actually, ma'am, you're not in 9E. 121 00:10:20,621 --> 00:10:23,321 You're in 3b. 122 00:10:23,990 --> 00:10:25,423 Common mistake. 123 00:10:27,126 --> 00:10:29,995 I've been trying to find out if I ordered a kosher meal. 124 00:10:29,997 --> 00:10:32,330 Rabbi, I got the passenger manifest in advance, 125 00:10:32,332 --> 00:10:36,668 so I personally prepared you a nice piece of chicken with a side of borscht. 126 00:10:36,670 --> 00:10:38,036 Thank you, my son. 127 00:10:40,841 --> 00:10:43,208 What about my grandpa? Look. 128 00:10:54,387 --> 00:10:55,920 - Gramps comin' at ya! 129 00:10:58,458 --> 00:10:59,891 Thanks. You really saved me there. 130 00:10:59,893 --> 00:11:02,494 You saying "Thanks" is thanks enough. 131 00:11:02,862 --> 00:11:04,462 Um, okay. 132 00:11:05,398 --> 00:11:07,465 - I guess we're ready. - Not yet. 133 00:11:07,467 --> 00:11:09,334 My finely honed senses tells me there's someone 134 00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:11,670 on board this flight who's a threat to us all. 135 00:11:29,989 --> 00:11:31,589 You, sir. 136 00:11:32,992 --> 00:11:34,592 Frat guy, huh? 137 00:11:34,594 --> 00:11:37,696 - Oh, Phi Beta Kappa, it's an academic fraternity. - Oh? 138 00:11:37,698 --> 00:11:40,365 You like to drink, get out of control, 139 00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:42,967 you boot and rally, you cause a scene. 140 00:11:42,969 --> 00:11:45,370 No, I don't drink. I'm a Rhodes Scholar. 141 00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:47,672 I'm actually flying to UCLA to collect an award. 142 00:11:47,674 --> 00:11:49,774 I won't have those kind of shenanigans on my flight! 143 00:11:49,776 --> 00:11:51,276 Take a hike, party boy! 144 00:11:51,278 --> 00:11:53,545 - No, but I'm... - Save it, Animal House! 145 00:11:53,946 --> 00:11:55,213 Off my plane! 146 00:11:57,149 --> 00:11:58,483 Off my plane! 147 00:12:09,929 --> 00:12:12,197 Okay, rookie, let's fly this bitch. 148 00:12:29,782 --> 00:12:31,649 Miss McCoy, it's all yours. 149 00:12:32,818 --> 00:12:34,119 Thank you. 150 00:12:34,121 --> 00:12:38,156 Gentlemen and ladies, what do we spend the most money on? 151 00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:42,961 - Passenger safety. 152 00:12:45,799 --> 00:12:48,767 Stop it, Geddes, stop it! This is serious. 153 00:12:48,769 --> 00:12:51,836 Outside of equipment, fuel and brass tacks, 154 00:12:51,838 --> 00:12:55,140 our greatest operating expense is service. 155 00:12:56,108 --> 00:12:58,176 Flight attendants. 156 00:12:58,178 --> 00:13:00,345 - Yes. - Their union is strong, 157 00:13:00,347 --> 00:13:03,715 their salaries keep rising. Not to mention their benefits. 158 00:13:03,717 --> 00:13:04,883 But what if I told you there was a way 159 00:13:04,885 --> 00:13:08,319 to completely eliminate human flight attendants? 160 00:13:08,321 --> 00:13:11,082 Even if we could, where would you hide the bodies? 161 00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:13,958 Oh, just asking. 162 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:17,095 Gentlemen, there is someone I would like for you to meet. 163 00:13:23,102 --> 00:13:24,636 Good morning, Miss McCoy. 164 00:13:25,771 --> 00:13:27,472 Good morning, Sally. 165 00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:29,774 Sally, may I have a cup of coffee, please? 166 00:13:29,776 --> 00:13:30,842 My pleasure. 167 00:13:36,048 --> 00:13:37,849 Thank you, Sally. 168 00:13:39,753 --> 00:13:42,387 Oh, this coffee is way too hot! 169 00:13:42,389 --> 00:13:44,689 Oh. 170 00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:51,563 I'm sorry, Miss McCoy. I'll find some more coffee that's not so hot. 171 00:13:51,565 --> 00:13:53,965 - What the... - She's not real! 172 00:13:53,967 --> 00:13:56,367 - Right, Sally? - That's right, Miss McCoy. 173 00:13:56,369 --> 00:13:58,369 My body is state-of-the-art neoprene 174 00:13:58,371 --> 00:14:00,772 stretched over a complex electronic framework, 175 00:14:00,774 --> 00:14:02,373 my brain is a powerful microprocessor 176 00:14:02,375 --> 00:14:04,375 capable of five billion decisions per second 177 00:14:04,377 --> 00:14:06,678 and my boobs are a perky 34C. 178 00:14:07,079 --> 00:14:08,379 This is amazing. 179 00:14:08,381 --> 00:14:11,015 Go ahead, touch her. You'd never know the difference. 180 00:14:11,017 --> 00:14:12,684 - What? - Touch her. 181 00:14:15,387 --> 00:14:18,223 You mean, just... Wow! 182 00:14:31,470 --> 00:14:33,338 I'm Nathan, by the way. 183 00:14:33,340 --> 00:14:34,772 The pleasure's yours, Nathan. 184 00:14:36,675 --> 00:14:38,409 That was incredible, all the stuff you did back there. 185 00:14:38,411 --> 00:14:40,845 I'm not sure "incredible" is the right word. 186 00:14:40,847 --> 00:14:42,347 I believe it's "uncredible." 187 00:14:43,616 --> 00:14:45,450 I'm pretty sure it's "incredible." 188 00:14:45,452 --> 00:14:47,485 Let's agree not to disagree. 189 00:14:48,520 --> 00:14:50,421 I don't think that's the expression. 190 00:14:50,423 --> 00:14:53,157 Are you disagreeing with me? We just agreed not to. 191 00:14:55,327 --> 00:14:57,729 You were saying? 192 00:14:57,731 --> 00:14:59,931 They sure didn't teach us any of that stuff at the training academy. 193 00:14:59,933 --> 00:15:01,733 Yeah, that's why I never listen to what they teach. 194 00:15:01,735 --> 00:15:04,335 I make my own rules, then I break 'em. 195 00:15:04,337 --> 00:15:07,272 But if they're your own rules, why do you have to break 'em? 196 00:15:07,274 --> 00:15:08,940 - Well, I... - Wouldn't it be easier 197 00:15:08,942 --> 00:15:10,775 to make up different rules that you didn't have to break? 198 00:15:10,777 --> 00:15:13,278 - Not necessarily. - Or to not make up any rules at all. 199 00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:15,647 The point is, I'm a renegade. 200 00:15:15,649 --> 00:15:18,383 Wait a minute. You're Larry Gaye! 201 00:15:18,385 --> 00:15:20,051 My first day and I get to fly 202 00:15:20,053 --> 00:15:21,853 - with Larry Gaye? - So cool. 203 00:15:21,855 --> 00:15:24,722 My God, the stories, the women. 204 00:15:25,424 --> 00:15:27,825 - Six Golden Coffee Pots! 205 00:15:28,427 --> 00:15:29,928 You're a legend. 206 00:15:29,930 --> 00:15:31,729 Relax. Look. 207 00:15:31,731 --> 00:15:34,899 I know this may come as a shock, but I'm just a human being. 208 00:15:34,901 --> 00:15:37,702 I mean, if you cut me, I bleed. 209 00:15:37,704 --> 00:15:40,004 If you pinch me, I cry. 210 00:15:41,573 --> 00:15:45,443 If you pull my hair, I scream like a little girl. 211 00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:47,779 If you back an SUV over my bare feet, 212 00:15:47,781 --> 00:15:50,548 I'd likely go into shock. The pain is so intense. 213 00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:53,785 If you eliminate vitamins B and D from my diet, 214 00:15:53,787 --> 00:15:56,888 my skin turns a shade of taupe you've never seen. 215 00:16:02,728 --> 00:16:04,696 I can't breathe. 216 00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:06,965 Hello. 217 00:16:06,967 --> 00:16:08,967 Carry on, please. 218 00:16:09,835 --> 00:16:12,503 You're looking at the new Flightpal 200 219 00:16:12,505 --> 00:16:14,739 made by Techtronics Industries. 220 00:16:14,741 --> 00:16:18,609 Now, for a fraction of the cost of a flight attendant, 221 00:16:18,611 --> 00:16:20,878 we can have every one of our planes 222 00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:23,648 fully manned by Flightpals 223 00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:26,150 within one year. 224 00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:28,119 Excuse me, Miss McCoy. 225 00:16:28,121 --> 00:16:31,022 The reputation of this airline is built on service. 226 00:16:31,024 --> 00:16:34,292 How do you know that the Flightpal 200 227 00:16:34,294 --> 00:16:36,427 is better than our flight attendants? 228 00:16:36,429 --> 00:16:37,962 That's a great question. 229 00:16:37,964 --> 00:16:39,430 Ladies and gentlemen, 230 00:16:39,432 --> 00:16:42,734 the President and Founder of Techtronics Industries, 231 00:16:43,135 --> 00:16:44,969 Bob Techtronics. 232 00:16:44,971 --> 00:16:48,639 Folks, I wouldn't expect you to just sign on the dotted line. 233 00:16:48,641 --> 00:16:51,009 I only ask for the opportunity to prove to you 234 00:16:51,011 --> 00:16:54,679 that the Flightpal can outperform an error-prone human. 235 00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:57,081 And how do you plan on doing that? 236 00:16:57,083 --> 00:17:00,051 By letting Sally here go up against your best 237 00:17:00,053 --> 00:17:02,887 in a challenge of flight attendant skills. 238 00:17:02,889 --> 00:17:05,089 - That sounds fair, doesn't it? - Absolutely. Let's set it up. 239 00:17:05,091 --> 00:17:08,960 If it works, it could be a financial lifesaver for the entire company. 240 00:17:08,962 --> 00:17:11,262 Thank you so much, Mr. T. 241 00:17:11,264 --> 00:17:12,597 Sally, we'll talk. 242 00:17:13,465 --> 00:17:15,033 If you remove 243 00:17:15,035 --> 00:17:17,535 the vestibular system from my inner ear, I have difficulty balancing. 244 00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:21,639 If you take a croquet mallet, coat it with shards of glass 245 00:17:21,641 --> 00:17:24,375 - and swing it directly at my testes... - Okay, you're human! 246 00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:26,677 - You made your point. - I think I've made my point. 247 00:17:32,618 --> 00:17:35,086 Well, look who it is. 248 00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:38,356 Bryce. Felder. 249 00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:40,992 That's "Captain" to you. 250 00:17:40,994 --> 00:17:44,395 Sorry, Crapton Bryce. 251 00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:46,164 How you feeling today, Gaye? 252 00:17:47,232 --> 00:17:50,101 Are you getting sleepier? 253 00:17:50,803 --> 00:17:53,171 Oh, snap! 254 00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:08,953 It's ancient history, Nathan, like the Romanian Empire. 255 00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:11,650 - But... - I said, 256 00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:13,291 ancient history. 257 00:18:14,660 --> 00:18:16,928 - Okay. Got it. 258 00:18:16,930 --> 00:18:19,330 Uh... 259 00:18:19,332 --> 00:18:22,300 Ladies and gentlemen, Captain Bryce here. 260 00:18:22,302 --> 00:18:24,569 Just wanted to speak as your pilot 261 00:18:24,571 --> 00:18:26,270 and not a lowly flight attendant, 262 00:18:26,272 --> 00:18:29,040 and say it's great to be piloting this plane 263 00:18:29,708 --> 00:18:31,576 because I'm a pilot 264 00:18:31,578 --> 00:18:33,811 who passed through the pilot training academy 265 00:18:33,813 --> 00:18:36,547 and became a pilot. 266 00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:16,554 These big union meetings tend to drag 267 00:19:16,556 --> 00:19:18,756 like a turtle's nut sack, am I right? 268 00:19:18,758 --> 00:19:21,559 Excuse me? Show some respect. 269 00:19:22,461 --> 00:19:24,128 What's that? 270 00:19:24,130 --> 00:19:27,999 Actually, I find them interesting and informative. 271 00:19:28,001 --> 00:19:30,234 Uh, surely you can't be serious. 272 00:19:30,236 --> 00:19:31,936 I am serious. 273 00:19:31,938 --> 00:19:34,272 - Then should I stop calling you Shirley? 274 00:19:44,717 --> 00:19:46,450 Ladies and gentlemen, 275 00:19:46,452 --> 00:19:48,386 and members of the Fraternal Association 276 00:19:48,388 --> 00:19:51,322 of Federated Airlines Flight Attendants, welcome. 277 00:19:51,324 --> 00:19:54,358 Management has asked us to select 278 00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:56,961 our top flight attendant 279 00:19:56,963 --> 00:20:00,031 to go up against the Flightpal 280 00:20:00,033 --> 00:20:02,066 in a performance test. 281 00:20:02,068 --> 00:20:06,671 And the Research Committee has given me one name. 282 00:20:06,673 --> 00:20:08,973 Which one of you is Gaye? 283 00:20:15,847 --> 00:20:17,281 Larry Gaye. 284 00:20:18,850 --> 00:20:21,452 - That'd be me. - Ah! 285 00:20:21,454 --> 00:20:24,355 Mr. Gaye, just how good are you? 286 00:20:24,357 --> 00:20:26,724 On a scale from one to 10, 287 00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:28,859 it can't be quantified. 288 00:20:28,861 --> 00:20:31,062 Perhaps you would try to quantify. 289 00:20:31,064 --> 00:20:33,264 Well... 290 00:20:33,266 --> 00:20:35,433 I have won an unprecedented six, 291 00:20:35,435 --> 00:20:38,336 count them, six, consecutive Golden Coffee Pots. 292 00:20:38,338 --> 00:20:39,570 Roll the clip! 293 00:20:40,672 --> 00:20:43,407 Uh, guys, I... 294 00:20:43,409 --> 00:20:46,110 I don't know what to say, except maybe, 295 00:20:46,112 --> 00:20:48,713 suck it, other flight attendants! 296 00:20:48,715 --> 00:20:50,147 Suck it dry! 297 00:20:50,149 --> 00:20:52,550 Hey, hey, hey! You cut it off before my dance. Not cool. 298 00:20:52,552 --> 00:20:54,919 Mr. Gaye, I want to ask you, 299 00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:59,390 will you help spare the jobs of everyone in this room 300 00:20:59,392 --> 00:21:02,026 and thousands of others nationwide? 301 00:21:07,432 --> 00:21:09,500 Seems like a hassle. Pass! 302 00:21:09,502 --> 00:21:10,835 I'm gonna pass! 303 00:21:12,638 --> 00:21:14,505 - No. Mr. Gaye! - Larry. 304 00:21:14,507 --> 00:21:16,474 What? What? What? 305 00:21:16,476 --> 00:21:19,710 We need you. Our livelihood depends on it. 306 00:21:26,485 --> 00:21:27,685 Fine, I'll do it. 307 00:21:27,687 --> 00:21:29,253 - I'll do it! 308 00:21:29,255 --> 00:21:31,689 Ladies and gentlemen of the FAFAFA, worry not! 309 00:21:31,691 --> 00:21:34,825 I will take on this scourge and I will win. 310 00:21:34,827 --> 00:21:37,528 Nothing on God's green Earth will stop me! 311 00:21:37,530 --> 00:21:39,697 Thank you, Mr. Gaye. Thank you. 312 00:21:39,699 --> 00:21:41,766 As long as it's not on a Tuesday morning. I have a Zumba class. 313 00:21:41,768 --> 00:21:43,267 Okay. 314 00:21:43,269 --> 00:21:46,070 Or Saturdays at 3:00. I have a standing body wax. Gotta do that. 315 00:21:46,072 --> 00:21:48,973 Wednesdays aren't great. Hump day. 316 00:21:48,975 --> 00:21:50,808 And I take that quite literally. 317 00:21:50,810 --> 00:21:52,310 - You know what I'm talking about. - Thank you, Mr. Gaye. 318 00:21:52,312 --> 00:21:53,611 Larry Gaye, ladies and gentlemen. 319 00:21:53,613 --> 00:21:55,846 - Larry Gaye, thank you. - You got it. 320 00:21:57,183 --> 00:22:00,751 Larry! 321 00:22:07,693 --> 00:22:10,895 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard Federated Airlines Flight 75 322 00:22:10,897 --> 00:22:12,997 with non-stop service to Los Angeles. 323 00:22:12,999 --> 00:22:15,099 We'll be taxiing in just a few moments. 324 00:22:15,101 --> 00:22:16,767 But first, allow me to demonstrate 325 00:22:16,769 --> 00:22:19,870 the safety features of our Boeing 737. 326 00:22:19,872 --> 00:22:21,872 Nathan. Thank you. 327 00:22:21,874 --> 00:22:23,674 You fasten the seatbelt 328 00:22:23,676 --> 00:22:25,676 by inserting the metal end 329 00:22:28,013 --> 00:22:33,184 into the expectant buckle. 330 00:22:33,186 --> 00:22:36,120 A little at first, you know, just enough to 331 00:22:37,155 --> 00:22:38,656 tease the buckle. 332 00:22:40,092 --> 00:22:41,459 You want some of that? 333 00:22:42,761 --> 00:22:44,161 Hmm, yeah. 334 00:22:46,231 --> 00:22:47,932 Ohh! 335 00:22:47,934 --> 00:22:51,369 Take that buckle. Take it! Yeah. 336 00:22:51,371 --> 00:22:53,237 - Mmm, yeah. - 337 00:22:53,239 --> 00:22:54,739 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 338 00:22:54,741 --> 00:22:56,307 Yeah, yeah. 339 00:22:56,309 --> 00:22:58,843 And finally, when that buckle just can't take any more, 340 00:22:58,845 --> 00:23:01,312 you pull on this thing to release it. 341 00:23:03,950 --> 00:23:07,051 We don't anticipate it, but should there be a change in cabin pressure, 342 00:23:07,053 --> 00:23:09,553 your oxygen mask will drop down. 343 00:23:09,555 --> 00:23:12,990 You place the mask over your mouth, like so. 344 00:23:21,433 --> 00:23:23,267 Mmm, yeah. 345 00:23:24,703 --> 00:23:26,570 Okay. 346 00:23:26,572 --> 00:23:29,240 For those of you seated in an emergency exit row, 347 00:23:29,242 --> 00:23:32,710 like, uh, I don't know, say you. 348 00:23:33,912 --> 00:23:36,914 If called upon to open the emergency door, well, 349 00:23:38,250 --> 00:23:40,290 you're gonna pull on that big lever. 350 00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:44,488 Yeah, yeah, you're gonna pull on it real nice 351 00:23:45,291 --> 00:23:48,759 Ooh, I bet you know how to pull that thing just right. 352 00:23:48,761 --> 00:23:49,894 Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. 353 00:23:49,896 --> 00:23:51,195 You know what I'm talking about, 354 00:23:51,197 --> 00:23:52,797 -you naughty little tart. 355 00:23:52,799 --> 00:23:54,498 Flight attendants, please be seated for take-off. 356 00:23:54,500 --> 00:23:57,501 Okay. Power down all electronic devices. 357 00:23:57,503 --> 00:23:59,303 We'll be up in the air shortly. 358 00:23:59,305 --> 00:24:00,838 Thank you, everybody. 359 00:24:04,075 --> 00:24:07,378 We have got a live one in 10b. 360 00:24:07,380 --> 00:24:09,621 I think those instructions could have been clearer. 361 00:24:17,924 --> 00:24:20,825 Uh, folks, we're about to start our in-flight movie, 362 00:24:20,827 --> 00:24:23,661 License to Chill. 363 00:24:23,663 --> 00:24:25,596 Audio can be found on Channel 10. 364 00:24:29,202 --> 00:24:32,102 - Hey, Nate, can you grab the disk out of my bag? - Yeah. 365 00:24:32,104 --> 00:24:34,738 Gaye, I asked for a Fresca five minutes ago. 366 00:24:34,740 --> 00:24:36,974 What happened? Did you trip over your skirt? 367 00:24:36,976 --> 00:24:39,977 So sorry, I was, uh... I was about to bring it in. 368 00:24:41,646 --> 00:24:45,483 Well, maybe if you spent less time flirting with your little gal pal over there, 369 00:24:45,485 --> 00:24:48,486 you'd be able to focus on your job. 370 00:24:48,488 --> 00:24:51,722 I already do focus on my job as six, count them, six, 371 00:24:51,724 --> 00:24:54,758 Golden Coffee Pots can attest. 372 00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:56,594 Oh, that's right. I forgot. 373 00:24:58,096 --> 00:25:01,432 How does it feel working with the biggest wussy in the business? 374 00:25:01,434 --> 00:25:03,434 - Well... - Don't talk! 375 00:25:03,436 --> 00:25:05,002 I gotta go fly this bird. 376 00:25:12,879 --> 00:25:14,989 Are you gonna tell me what's that all about? 377 00:25:15,015 --> 00:25:15,880 Sorry, Nathan. 378 00:25:15,882 --> 00:25:17,748 I'm an intensely private person. 379 00:25:17,750 --> 00:25:19,984 You made a deal to publish your autobiography so you could, 380 00:25:19,986 --> 00:25:23,087 and I quote, "Share your story with the world." 381 00:25:23,089 --> 00:25:24,488 It's unauthorized. 382 00:25:33,865 --> 00:25:35,766 Fine. I guess you'll read it anyway. 383 00:25:37,102 --> 00:25:39,236 It all started when I was a little boy... 384 00:25:39,238 --> 00:25:40,938 - Uh, Larry... - Please don't interrupt. 385 00:25:40,940 --> 00:25:42,606 You asked for the story. Now let me tell it. 386 00:25:42,608 --> 00:25:44,742 - No, but it's... - Hey! Here's how it works up here. 387 00:25:44,744 --> 00:25:46,377 When a veteran is telling a rookie a story, 388 00:25:46,379 --> 00:25:49,213 the rookie, you, listens, 389 00:25:49,215 --> 00:25:51,181 sans interruption. Sans! 390 00:25:53,485 --> 00:25:55,819 As I was saying, 391 00:25:55,821 --> 00:25:58,622 I loved my father more than anything. 392 00:25:58,624 --> 00:26:01,325 So when he left me, I was devastated. 393 00:26:01,327 --> 00:26:04,662 Even if it was only for a few minutes. 394 00:26:07,833 --> 00:26:13,304 Well, you can imagine how upset I was when he left for good. 395 00:26:14,773 --> 00:26:16,173 Where are you going, Dad? 396 00:26:16,175 --> 00:26:20,544 Hey-hey, there he is. 397 00:26:20,546 --> 00:26:22,479 There he always is. 398 00:26:22,481 --> 00:26:24,615 I'm... I'm... 399 00:26:24,617 --> 00:26:28,385 I'm just going out to have these suitcases polished. 400 00:26:28,387 --> 00:26:30,147 But it's the middle of the night. 401 00:26:31,122 --> 00:26:32,623 Yes, it is. Yes, it is. 402 00:26:32,625 --> 00:26:34,625 And there is a, uh, 403 00:26:34,627 --> 00:26:38,395 24-hour suitcase polisher over on State Street. 404 00:26:38,397 --> 00:26:40,264 Oh, okay. 405 00:26:42,067 --> 00:26:43,434 Good night. 406 00:26:43,436 --> 00:26:45,970 Good night, Son. Have a good life. 407 00:26:45,972 --> 00:26:48,572 Until tomorrow morning, 408 00:26:48,574 --> 00:26:51,809 when I will see you again 409 00:26:51,811 --> 00:26:56,580 because I'm definitely not running out on you 410 00:26:56,582 --> 00:26:58,949 or your mother, 411 00:26:58,951 --> 00:27:02,920 or the life of debt and dysfunction we've built together. 412 00:27:04,756 --> 00:27:07,825 But I wasn't stupid. It didn't take long to figure out 413 00:27:07,827 --> 00:27:10,461 that somewhere on his way to the 24-hour suitcase polisher, 414 00:27:10,463 --> 00:27:12,329 -he decided to leave for good. 415 00:27:19,004 --> 00:27:21,105 My mom tried everything she could 416 00:27:21,107 --> 00:27:23,774 to take my mind off the hurt of Dad leaving, 417 00:27:26,544 --> 00:27:28,245 but nothing could distract me. 418 00:27:28,914 --> 00:27:32,449 In an all-new episode of Boys Whose Fathers Love Them 419 00:27:32,451 --> 00:27:33,951 and Have Not Run Off Unexpectedly... 420 00:27:33,953 --> 00:27:35,786 No! 421 00:27:35,788 --> 00:27:38,422 I knew of no way to make the pain go away. 422 00:27:41,960 --> 00:27:44,728 Until that moment, 423 00:27:44,730 --> 00:27:48,232 when I realized that if I could be way up in the clouds, then maybe 424 00:27:48,234 --> 00:27:52,436 it would take me away from the hurt I felt down on the ground. 425 00:27:52,438 --> 00:27:55,773 And that's when I decided that what I wanted more than anything 426 00:27:56,174 --> 00:27:57,641 was to fly. 427 00:27:58,977 --> 00:28:01,779 - Larry, behind you. - Yes, that chapter was behind me. 428 00:28:01,781 --> 00:28:03,213 Well observed. 429 00:28:03,215 --> 00:28:06,116 Then, in 1995, I went to flight school. 430 00:28:09,054 --> 00:28:11,855 Building 5. Orientation's on the right. 431 00:28:14,125 --> 00:28:16,260 - Hi. - Hi there. 432 00:28:16,695 --> 00:28:17,761 I'm Gaye. 433 00:28:18,663 --> 00:28:19,730 Really? 434 00:28:21,032 --> 00:28:22,099 Uh... 435 00:28:24,335 --> 00:28:26,503 I have a private bunk 436 00:28:26,505 --> 00:28:29,440 with the only bathtub in this whole facility. 437 00:28:29,442 --> 00:28:31,542 Cadet Larry Gaye. 438 00:28:31,544 --> 00:28:35,045 - Right. Uh, building 5. Orientation's on the right. - Thank you. 439 00:28:39,017 --> 00:28:40,751 That's what I'm talking about. 440 00:28:41,886 --> 00:28:44,188 Here, here 441 00:28:44,190 --> 00:28:46,423 and especially here. 442 00:28:47,692 --> 00:28:51,161 Ladies and gentlemen, you need to know these principles cold. 443 00:28:51,163 --> 00:28:54,331 I had big dreams, and even bigger confidence. 444 00:28:54,333 --> 00:28:58,035 I was gonna be the best damn pilot in the world. 445 00:28:58,037 --> 00:29:01,672 All right. Define lift. Gaye. 446 00:29:03,541 --> 00:29:06,677 A positive force caused by the difference in air pressure 447 00:29:06,679 --> 00:29:08,746 - under and above a wing, sir. - Drag? 448 00:29:08,748 --> 00:29:11,882 The resistance of the air to anything moving through it, sir! 449 00:29:11,884 --> 00:29:13,117 And thrust? 450 00:29:15,653 --> 00:29:17,187 Damn, he's good. 451 00:29:18,656 --> 00:29:20,324 E, P, H, 452 00:29:20,326 --> 00:29:22,726 - T, O, Z. - Good. 453 00:29:22,728 --> 00:29:24,294 The bottom line, please? 454 00:29:27,232 --> 00:29:28,298 That's... 455 00:29:29,367 --> 00:29:32,169 J, M, V... 456 00:29:32,171 --> 00:29:34,772 No, no, no. That's not correct. 457 00:29:34,774 --> 00:29:37,908 Uh, actually, Doc, I'm working off that chart. 458 00:29:37,910 --> 00:29:40,878 - Are you kidding me? - H, R, 459 00:29:40,880 --> 00:29:42,746 S, C, C, F. 460 00:29:42,748 --> 00:29:46,049 Copyright 1983, printed in the Philippines. 461 00:29:46,051 --> 00:29:47,551 Bastard. 462 00:29:48,620 --> 00:29:50,788 Reduce airspeed 50 knots. 463 00:29:55,026 --> 00:29:56,860 Lower angle of left wing. 464 00:29:57,929 --> 00:30:00,297 Come on. Challenge me, bud. 465 00:30:00,299 --> 00:30:03,233 I wasn't cocky. I just knew what I was doing... 466 00:30:03,235 --> 00:30:04,735 Deploy landing gear. 467 00:30:06,271 --> 00:30:09,840 And bragged about it, in an obnoxious way. 468 00:30:09,842 --> 00:30:11,802 What's the matter? You need to use your hands? 469 00:30:16,648 --> 00:30:20,484 That's right. I was on my way and nothing was gonna stop me. 470 00:30:24,222 --> 00:30:26,190 So what happened? 471 00:30:26,192 --> 00:30:28,425 All that was left was the actual flying. 472 00:30:31,063 --> 00:30:32,763 You're coming in too hot, Gaye. 473 00:30:33,631 --> 00:30:35,666 You're... You're way off course! 474 00:30:36,334 --> 00:30:38,135 Gaye, can you hear me? 475 00:30:39,537 --> 00:30:40,838 Gaye! Wake up! 476 00:30:48,447 --> 00:30:50,147 Wake up, wake up. 477 00:30:51,850 --> 00:30:53,890 Yeah, there's something wrong with this kid. 478 00:30:58,356 --> 00:31:01,892 Gaye, I've got some bad news. 479 00:31:01,894 --> 00:31:05,729 And it's my job to give it to you in the most professional way possible. 480 00:31:07,599 --> 00:31:09,733 Guess what it is. 481 00:31:09,735 --> 00:31:13,604 - Heart disease? - No. 482 00:31:13,606 --> 00:31:15,839 - Measles? - You're getting cooler. 483 00:31:16,507 --> 00:31:19,509 Oh, uh, okay, okay, okay, um... 484 00:31:21,379 --> 00:31:22,913 - Nervous disorder. - Mmm, mmm, mmm. 485 00:31:22,915 --> 00:31:24,281 - That's warmer. - Okay. 486 00:31:24,283 --> 00:31:26,350 - Mumps? - No, colder. 487 00:31:26,352 --> 00:31:27,784 - Anemia. - Oh, you're ice-cold. 488 00:31:27,786 --> 00:31:29,853 Come on! Doc, just tell me. 489 00:31:29,855 --> 00:31:32,222 - You have narcolepsy. - Oh. 490 00:31:32,224 --> 00:31:35,125 It's a neurological disorder caused by the brain's inability 491 00:31:35,127 --> 00:31:38,095 to regulate sleep-wake cycles. 492 00:31:38,097 --> 00:31:40,858 In other words, you fall asleep uncontrollably. 493 00:31:41,599 --> 00:31:43,367 - That's ridic... - Hmm? 494 00:31:44,235 --> 00:31:45,903 Sorry, I thought I had to sneeze. 495 00:31:45,905 --> 00:31:47,738 Oh, I thought you were having a stroke. 496 00:31:47,740 --> 00:31:48,972 That's ridiculous. 497 00:32:07,325 --> 00:32:08,825 - Yes! 498 00:32:20,271 --> 00:32:24,441 So, my dreams of being a pilot were smashed into a thousand pieces. 499 00:32:24,443 --> 00:32:26,410 The only way I was gonna fly was in this apron, 500 00:32:26,412 --> 00:32:29,279 and Bryce and Felder never let me forget it. 501 00:32:30,448 --> 00:32:32,349 But it's all in the past. 502 00:32:32,351 --> 00:32:35,085 Never even think about it. I'm as happy as I seem. 503 00:32:39,490 --> 00:32:41,091 I'm glad you're over it. 504 00:32:44,829 --> 00:32:46,663 Someone's playing our song. 505 00:32:51,869 --> 00:32:52,936 Ah. 506 00:32:54,372 --> 00:32:56,139 Is there something I can help you with? 507 00:32:56,141 --> 00:32:59,142 I wanted to tell you how much I'm enjoying the movie. 508 00:32:59,144 --> 00:33:03,080 It's not Ice Age 2 or even 3, but it's a jaunty romp, 509 00:33:03,082 --> 00:33:04,282 it's pleasantly paced. 510 00:33:07,385 --> 00:33:08,752 Turbulence. 511 00:33:09,520 --> 00:33:10,654 Excuse me for a second. 512 00:33:15,994 --> 00:33:19,229 Oh! Uh, folks, folks, folks. 513 00:33:19,231 --> 00:33:22,866 - We gave you the wrong - License to Chill. 514 00:33:22,868 --> 00:33:25,969 That was the director's cut, with some scenes that had been omitted, 515 00:33:25,971 --> 00:33:29,306 and I think wisely so. 516 00:33:29,308 --> 00:33:32,709 Here's some more family friendly entertainment. 517 00:33:43,021 --> 00:33:44,254 How are you? 518 00:33:47,091 --> 00:33:48,792 You were saying. 519 00:33:48,794 --> 00:33:51,595 Perhaps someday you and I could make a movie like that. 520 00:33:51,597 --> 00:33:53,563 License to Chill? 521 00:33:53,565 --> 00:33:58,735 No, I mean, I'd like you to make love to me in every way imaginable. 522 00:34:07,612 --> 00:34:09,546 Ooh. 523 00:34:09,548 --> 00:34:12,315 Shall we ignore the fact that it smells like Death's underpants in here? 524 00:34:12,317 --> 00:34:13,383 Let's. 525 00:34:13,385 --> 00:34:15,385 Okay, can I get you a drink? 526 00:34:15,387 --> 00:34:17,687 - Vodka, rocks. - Yes, it does. 527 00:34:18,923 --> 00:34:20,323 Oh, right. 528 00:34:31,470 --> 00:34:33,370 - Thank you. 529 00:34:33,372 --> 00:34:34,604 That'll be $6. 530 00:34:37,175 --> 00:34:38,575 - Oh. - Hmm. 531 00:34:39,677 --> 00:34:40,777 Oh. 532 00:34:42,680 --> 00:34:46,316 Ah, yes. Um, do you happen to have exact change? 533 00:34:46,318 --> 00:34:47,484 No, I don't. 534 00:34:47,486 --> 00:34:49,287 What are we gonna do about that? 535 00:34:57,495 --> 00:34:58,595 Here. 536 00:35:00,565 --> 00:35:01,832 Where were we? 537 00:35:01,834 --> 00:35:03,834 I wanna know everything about you. 538 00:35:03,836 --> 00:35:05,669 I want to feel what it's like to touch you. 539 00:35:05,671 --> 00:35:07,804 I want your body to possess my body. 540 00:35:07,806 --> 00:35:09,272 In a sexual way? 541 00:35:15,413 --> 00:35:17,614 Hi, there. 542 00:35:17,616 --> 00:35:22,052 So, uh, we're all out of beef stew, would you like some lasagna? 543 00:35:22,720 --> 00:35:25,422 Oh, but I love beef stew. 544 00:35:26,524 --> 00:35:28,492 Oh, this sucks. 545 00:35:29,694 --> 00:35:30,794 I apologize, sir. 546 00:35:30,796 --> 00:35:32,462 - No! - Okay, all right. 547 00:35:33,364 --> 00:35:36,266 Oh, uh, glad I could help, ma'am. 548 00:35:36,268 --> 00:35:37,934 If anyone else needs help with the faucets, 549 00:35:37,936 --> 00:35:40,804 please don't hesitate to call, they can be a tad tricky. 550 00:35:43,040 --> 00:35:45,075 If you could just give me one moment. 551 00:35:46,077 --> 00:35:47,277 Hmm. 552 00:35:48,447 --> 00:35:52,149 Presiding over an emergency meeting of the Mile High Club. 553 00:35:52,151 --> 00:35:53,726 Well, I'm glad you had fun. We ran out of 554 00:35:53,752 --> 00:35:55,452 beef stew, these people are ready to kill me. 555 00:35:55,454 --> 00:35:56,987 Did you tell them we ran out? 556 00:35:56,989 --> 00:36:02,626 Okay, rookie, lesson one. It's not beef stew they want, they just want a choice. 557 00:36:02,628 --> 00:36:06,329 - But there is no... - Watch and learn from a professional. 558 00:36:07,431 --> 00:36:10,400 Oh, left the luggage hatch open. 559 00:36:10,402 --> 00:36:16,740 Folks, for dinner we have lasagna or a stew of beef and brown lice. 560 00:36:16,742 --> 00:36:18,074 Well, I'll have the lasagna. 561 00:36:18,076 --> 00:36:20,844 Excellent choice, my dear. 562 00:36:20,846 --> 00:36:23,580 Sir, would you like lasagna or beef with cancer sauce? 563 00:36:23,582 --> 00:36:26,483 - I better go for lasagna. - I think you better, yeah. 564 00:36:27,451 --> 00:36:30,253 Sir, lasagna or sliced elderly human feet? 565 00:36:30,255 --> 00:36:32,122 - Lasagna. - Lasagna. Excellent choice. 566 00:36:37,329 --> 00:36:41,264 Stick with me, Nath. You'll gain a mentor, wingman and all-around fun captain, 567 00:36:41,266 --> 00:36:46,069 and having you around might help ward off my occasional crushing, empty loneliness. 568 00:36:46,071 --> 00:36:47,704 The crushing, empty loneliness you ignore? 569 00:36:47,706 --> 00:36:49,773 What crushing, empty loneliness? 570 00:36:55,580 --> 00:36:56,646 Yeah! 571 00:37:11,562 --> 00:37:12,996 Call me. 572 00:37:12,998 --> 00:37:14,664 I will. 573 00:39:09,847 --> 00:39:11,348 Yeah, yeah. 574 00:39:29,700 --> 00:39:30,800 Whoa! 575 00:39:32,603 --> 00:39:33,703 Oh! 576 00:40:28,359 --> 00:40:30,360 Wow. 577 00:40:30,362 --> 00:40:32,662 Can't believe all that stuff happened in one day. 578 00:40:32,664 --> 00:40:34,664 That's the life of the sky, Nathan. 579 00:40:34,666 --> 00:40:38,368 Every day is an incredible series of fun, memorable events. 580 00:40:38,370 --> 00:40:40,203 A montage, if you will. 581 00:40:40,205 --> 00:40:43,006 - It was amazing. - I know. 582 00:40:43,008 --> 00:40:45,975 Although I did get strip searched by a giant angry man. 583 00:40:45,977 --> 00:40:48,178 And severely shocked with defibrillator paddles. 584 00:40:48,180 --> 00:40:49,746 Yep, best job in the world. 585 00:40:49,748 --> 00:40:51,080 I also drank vomit. 586 00:41:30,120 --> 00:41:31,988 Oh, dear God. 587 00:41:31,990 --> 00:41:34,357 - What? - Uh, I can't let that woman see me. 588 00:41:34,359 --> 00:41:35,839 - Why? - Just... 589 00:41:37,661 --> 00:41:39,696 What the... Damn! 590 00:41:39,698 --> 00:41:42,732 I'm not comfortable with this. Please, Larry... 591 00:41:42,734 --> 00:41:45,034 Yeah, Larry she's gone. Larry, she's gone! 592 00:41:45,036 --> 00:41:47,837 - Okay. Okay. - She's gone. 593 00:41:47,839 --> 00:41:49,400 That could've been really uncomfortable. 594 00:41:49,707 --> 00:41:52,208 Who was that? 595 00:41:52,210 --> 00:41:55,645 Nathan, I've said many times nobody can ground this plane permanently, 596 00:41:56,547 --> 00:41:58,314 but she came the closest. 597 00:41:58,316 --> 00:42:00,817 The year was 1998. 598 00:42:00,819 --> 00:42:04,387 I was on a weekend layover in LA and, well, you know, 599 00:42:04,389 --> 00:42:07,891 every great couple has a cute story about how they met. 600 00:42:08,626 --> 00:42:09,993 We were no different. 601 00:42:13,364 --> 00:42:15,565 She was walking her dog, Muffin. 602 00:42:15,567 --> 00:42:17,600 The night before, I'd been thrown through 603 00:42:17,602 --> 00:42:20,937 a car windshield at 50 miles an hour and left for dead. 604 00:42:20,939 --> 00:42:24,807 Boy, that little Muffin sure liked to lick dried blood off a face. 605 00:42:30,315 --> 00:42:32,582 That charming April convinced an off-duty, 606 00:42:32,584 --> 00:42:35,485 and possibly drunk, ambulance driver to pick me up. 607 00:42:35,487 --> 00:42:38,154 And I was glad she did. 608 00:42:38,156 --> 00:42:41,357 You're hot. You wanna have dinner tonight? 609 00:42:44,896 --> 00:42:46,776 I'll pick you up at 7:00, all right? 610 00:42:50,267 --> 00:42:53,503 So, I'm all bandaged up, right? I look her right in the eye and I say, 611 00:42:53,505 --> 00:42:56,039 "God, you're hot. You wanna have dinner tonight?" 612 00:42:56,041 --> 00:42:58,908 - Um, Larry... - Hello, storius interruptus much? 613 00:42:58,910 --> 00:43:00,577 - No, but she's... - Butt cheese? 614 00:43:00,579 --> 00:43:03,579 Really, Nathan? Act your age, not your weiner length, okay? 615 00:43:03,949 --> 00:43:08,851 We went to one of those restaurants where they cook everything at the table. 616 00:43:08,853 --> 00:43:13,656 We were given a truly authentic Japanese experience by chef Hiro Obata 617 00:43:13,658 --> 00:43:15,959 Garcia Gonzalez de San Fernando. 618 00:43:15,961 --> 00:43:17,827 I think it may have been his first day. 619 00:43:17,829 --> 00:43:20,330 So, uh, you grew up in LA? 620 00:43:20,332 --> 00:43:22,332 Hmm, well actually in the suburbs. 621 00:43:23,067 --> 00:43:24,133 Really? Me too. 622 00:43:24,135 --> 00:43:25,201 - Really? - Mmm-hmm. 623 00:43:25,203 --> 00:43:26,402 - Oh. - Yeah. 624 00:43:26,404 --> 00:43:29,505 Yeah, I loved it, you know, everything felt so safe. 625 00:43:29,507 --> 00:43:31,941 You could ride a bike to a friend's house 626 00:43:31,943 --> 00:43:34,104 without your parents being all worried about you. 627 00:43:34,812 --> 00:43:36,779 Totally, totally. 628 00:43:36,781 --> 00:43:38,301 - Yeah. - Yeah. 629 00:43:39,650 --> 00:43:40,717 Yeah. 630 00:43:40,719 --> 00:43:42,051 Mmm-hmm. 631 00:43:45,589 --> 00:43:48,091 So what made you decide that you wanted to fly? 632 00:43:51,895 --> 00:43:55,732 Well, let's just say I wanted to escape the pain of a father's abandonment. 633 00:43:55,734 --> 00:43:58,067 I wanted to escape the pain of a father's abandonment. 634 00:43:58,069 --> 00:44:00,310 Thank you. I didn't think I could say that by myself. 635 00:44:10,080 --> 00:44:11,147 Hmm. 636 00:44:15,052 --> 00:44:16,119 Huh. 637 00:44:19,189 --> 00:44:20,590 It's crazy. 638 00:44:25,996 --> 00:44:27,697 So, do you believe in fate? 639 00:44:28,098 --> 00:44:30,433 Sure. Do you? 640 00:44:31,535 --> 00:44:33,469 How could I not? 641 00:44:33,471 --> 00:44:36,139 I mean, every day I walk Muffin down Elm Street, 642 00:44:36,141 --> 00:44:39,609 today I went down Maple, and there you were, 643 00:44:39,611 --> 00:44:41,444 unconscious on somebody's lawn. 644 00:44:41,446 --> 00:44:42,945 - Hmm. 645 00:44:42,947 --> 00:44:46,082 And usually I take a taxi back to my hotel room, 646 00:44:46,084 --> 00:44:48,418 but last night, I accepted a ride from a complete stranger 647 00:44:48,420 --> 00:44:51,387 who reeked of alcohol and could barely stand up straight. 648 00:44:51,389 --> 00:44:53,389 And if that hadn't happened, we would've never met. 649 00:44:53,391 --> 00:44:54,991 - I know. 650 00:44:54,993 --> 00:44:58,828 It's like that drunk driver was an angel, sent down to watch over me. 651 00:44:58,830 --> 00:44:59,896 Yeah. 652 00:45:01,398 --> 00:45:03,833 I love you, drunk driver who almost killed me. 653 00:45:04,436 --> 00:45:11,040 Now, without exaggeration, I've made love to roughly 135,000 women. 654 00:45:11,042 --> 00:45:14,203 But there was something about April that went beyond the physical. 655 00:45:16,146 --> 00:45:18,815 I... Wow. 656 00:45:18,817 --> 00:45:22,151 I just can't believe how much we have in common. 657 00:45:22,153 --> 00:45:25,955 You know, um, we both are Scorpios, we both love Japanese food. 658 00:45:25,957 --> 00:45:28,591 We both even have the same middle name. 659 00:45:28,593 --> 00:45:29,659 I know. 660 00:45:31,128 --> 00:45:34,664 You are amazing, Larry Elizabeth Gaye. 661 00:45:53,617 --> 00:45:55,852 But despite how wonderfully everything was going, 662 00:45:55,854 --> 00:45:57,854 something just didn't feel right. 663 00:46:05,195 --> 00:46:06,896 Do you have to go? 664 00:46:06,898 --> 00:46:08,865 No, I went when I woke up. 665 00:46:10,934 --> 00:46:13,336 So, when you come back to LA, will I see you? 666 00:46:13,338 --> 00:46:16,439 Look, I, um, the thing is... 667 00:46:19,409 --> 00:46:20,510 Yes. 668 00:46:21,945 --> 00:46:23,746 Yes, you will. 669 00:46:23,748 --> 00:46:25,114 You promise? 670 00:46:25,116 --> 00:46:27,683 I give you my word, I'll call you. 671 00:46:31,288 --> 00:46:33,189 Well, I didn't call her. 672 00:46:33,191 --> 00:46:37,193 Why not? Nathan, you know me. I'm built to fly. 673 00:46:37,195 --> 00:46:38,595 And as great as April was, I just... 674 00:46:38,596 --> 00:46:40,630 I didn't think I could be fully happy down on the ground. 675 00:46:40,632 --> 00:46:42,398 Then why didn't you have the guts to say that? 676 00:46:42,400 --> 00:46:44,767 Well, because... Turbulence. 677 00:46:45,969 --> 00:46:47,937 April. 678 00:46:47,939 --> 00:46:50,973 Boy, your ears must have been burning, 'cause I was just talking about you. 679 00:46:50,975 --> 00:46:52,175 How have you been? 680 00:46:52,177 --> 00:46:55,778 How have I been? Oh, gosh. Uh, let's see. 681 00:46:55,780 --> 00:46:57,947 I work at a crappy hotel, where, um, 682 00:46:57,949 --> 00:47:01,184 I get hit on all day by shitheads who say they're gonna call and they never do. 683 00:47:01,186 --> 00:47:02,485 How you been? 684 00:47:03,687 --> 00:47:06,956 Great, I've won six Golden Coffee Pots in a row. 685 00:47:06,958 --> 00:47:09,525 - This is my buddy, Nathan. - Asshole. 686 00:47:09,527 --> 00:47:12,261 Hey, that's not really fair. You didn't even give him a chance. 687 00:47:12,263 --> 00:47:13,930 - I think she meant you. - No. 688 00:47:15,232 --> 00:47:17,733 Really? April, wait! 689 00:47:21,104 --> 00:47:22,638 I'm sorry. 690 00:47:22,640 --> 00:47:24,874 I'm sorry. I should never have done what I did. 691 00:47:24,876 --> 00:47:29,145 I guess what I'm trying to say is, what I should've done is what I didn't. 692 00:47:29,147 --> 00:47:33,883 And what I did do is not the opposite of what the unright thing to do would've been. 693 00:47:33,885 --> 00:47:36,552 - I understand. Okay. - Okay, good. 694 00:47:36,554 --> 00:47:40,122 Um, in fact, why don't you, um... 695 00:47:41,758 --> 00:47:44,193 Why don't you come over tonight? 696 00:47:44,195 --> 00:47:48,130 We can, um, pick up where we left of, you know, for old times' sake. 697 00:47:49,433 --> 00:47:55,571 Well, I guess I could drop my landing gear, if you know what I mean. 698 00:47:55,573 --> 00:48:00,443 Put my tray table into its upright position, if you know what I mean. 699 00:48:00,445 --> 00:48:03,279 Fit my wheelie bag into you overhead comp... 700 00:48:03,281 --> 00:48:04,714 I know what you mean. 701 00:48:04,716 --> 00:48:06,282 Okay, so I'll see you tonight, right? 702 00:48:06,284 --> 00:48:07,984 - Yes, you will. - Okay. 703 00:48:42,119 --> 00:48:47,456 And this is the team that we have assembled to fine tune the Flightpal's hard drive. 704 00:48:47,458 --> 00:48:51,227 Johann Kaminsky, Stuart Nevins and Token Black. 705 00:48:51,862 --> 00:48:54,797 Taequan Black. Taequan Black. 706 00:48:54,799 --> 00:48:57,033 Yes, of course it is. 707 00:48:57,035 --> 00:48:59,802 Now, Mr. Techtronics would like to see how it's going 708 00:48:59,804 --> 00:49:01,971 with our highest priority project. 709 00:49:01,973 --> 00:49:03,839 - Uh, fantastic. - Right on target. 710 00:49:03,841 --> 00:49:06,075 - Couldn't ask for better. - Well within parameters. 711 00:49:06,077 --> 00:49:07,243 Are you sure? 712 00:49:07,245 --> 00:49:10,012 Well, the technical stuff will be there, 713 00:49:10,014 --> 00:49:14,350 but there's a certain human instinct that great flight attendants have, 714 00:49:14,352 --> 00:49:16,953 which we don't fully understand yet. 715 00:49:16,955 --> 00:49:18,955 I think I can help you with that. 716 00:49:20,424 --> 00:49:22,024 What? 717 00:49:22,026 --> 00:49:25,027 What's the matter with you boys? Never seen a sexy woman before? 718 00:49:27,097 --> 00:49:29,332 - No, no. - No, no. Not for free. No. 719 00:49:29,334 --> 00:49:31,934 Isabella here has done a little research for us. 720 00:49:33,737 --> 00:49:37,273 Larry, I want to know the secrets of being 721 00:49:37,275 --> 00:49:39,875 the best flight attendant in the world. 722 00:49:39,877 --> 00:49:43,079 Wait, you're not gonna somehow use this against me, are you? 723 00:49:43,081 --> 00:49:45,281 What? No, of course not. 724 00:49:45,283 --> 00:49:48,484 No, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, I just felt I had to ask. 725 00:49:48,486 --> 00:49:51,654 Anyway, all my secrets? Where do I begin? 726 00:49:58,996 --> 00:50:01,564 These tulips should go in water. 727 00:50:01,566 --> 00:50:05,401 And these two lips should go on a self-guided tour of Mount April. 728 00:50:05,403 --> 00:50:08,337 Larry, you haven't changed a bit. 729 00:50:08,339 --> 00:50:13,009 Hey, if it ain't broke, don't un-break it, if you know what I mean. 730 00:50:13,011 --> 00:50:14,877 - I don't. Um... - Okay. 731 00:50:14,879 --> 00:50:18,080 Uh, Larry there is someone I'd like you to meet. 732 00:50:18,082 --> 00:50:21,484 - Mmm. - So, um, just wait here. 733 00:50:21,486 --> 00:50:23,886 - That's exactly what I'm gonna do. - Okay. 734 00:50:25,489 --> 00:50:26,889 Three-way. 735 00:50:32,963 --> 00:50:35,698 Huh, that's a different way to go. 736 00:50:37,901 --> 00:50:39,502 - Larry. - Oh. 737 00:50:40,303 --> 00:50:41,470 This is Donnie. 738 00:50:42,406 --> 00:50:44,540 - What's up, man? - He's your son. 739 00:50:44,542 --> 00:50:46,776 He's my what? Eh... 740 00:50:47,444 --> 00:50:48,744 Whoa. 741 00:50:48,746 --> 00:50:51,313 - May I have a word with you? - Yeah. 742 00:50:54,518 --> 00:50:57,253 This can't be. We only did it once. 743 00:50:57,821 --> 00:50:59,655 That was all it took. 744 00:50:59,657 --> 00:51:01,457 That's what I'm talking about. 745 00:51:02,159 --> 00:51:04,360 But how can you be sure he's mine? 746 00:51:07,664 --> 00:51:08,898 Turbulence. 747 00:51:16,606 --> 00:51:18,841 Hey, Donnie. 748 00:51:23,413 --> 00:51:25,114 Would you like some more? 749 00:51:25,116 --> 00:51:26,315 Don't mind if I do. 750 00:51:27,084 --> 00:51:28,217 Okay. 751 00:51:28,885 --> 00:51:30,786 Hmm. Mmm. No, no. 752 00:51:30,788 --> 00:51:32,088 Oh, okay. 753 00:51:54,111 --> 00:51:55,344 Oh, okay. 754 00:51:56,580 --> 00:51:57,847 Mmm. 755 00:51:57,849 --> 00:52:01,383 Oh, uh, convenient. 756 00:52:01,385 --> 00:52:03,612 Yeah, well, I don't have a lot of time to cook. 757 00:52:03,638 --> 00:52:04,587 I'm a single mother. 758 00:52:04,589 --> 00:52:05,721 As you know. 759 00:52:05,723 --> 00:52:07,490 Yeah, that's gotta be rough. 760 00:52:09,126 --> 00:52:12,695 So, Donnie, how's school? Uh, What... What grade are you in? 761 00:52:14,798 --> 00:52:17,266 First? Wow, you gotta be one of the bigger kids in the class, huh? 762 00:52:17,268 --> 00:52:19,468 No, Donnie, don't disrespect your father. 763 00:52:19,470 --> 00:52:20,769 He's not my father. 764 00:52:20,771 --> 00:52:22,471 Aha! The plot thickens. 765 00:52:22,473 --> 00:52:25,941 No, he means he doesn't accept you as a father. 766 00:52:26,943 --> 00:52:28,611 Oh. I see. 767 00:52:30,113 --> 00:52:33,649 Okay, look, Donnie. I don't blame you for feeling angry towards me. 768 00:52:33,651 --> 00:52:36,685 If you don't want me to be a part of your life, I understand. 769 00:52:37,220 --> 00:52:38,320 Good. 770 00:52:40,557 --> 00:52:42,158 It's just as well. 771 00:52:42,160 --> 00:52:45,094 Flying the LA to Chicago route first thing in the morning anyway. 772 00:52:45,096 --> 00:52:47,596 I'm... I'm sorry again. 773 00:52:47,598 --> 00:52:49,965 - About... About everything. - Mmm-hmm. 774 00:52:51,635 --> 00:52:52,801 Wait. 775 00:52:53,737 --> 00:52:55,604 Dad, are you a pilot? 776 00:52:57,207 --> 00:53:01,944 Wait, um, your mother didn't tell you what I do for a living? 777 00:53:01,946 --> 00:53:04,146 She's never told me anything about you. 778 00:53:04,148 --> 00:53:07,183 I've always dreamed of having a dad who was a pilot. 779 00:53:07,185 --> 00:53:10,219 Son, that look of wide-eyed adoration on your face makes it hard for me to admit 780 00:53:10,221 --> 00:53:12,755 - that I'm only a fly... - Please say pilot. 781 00:53:12,757 --> 00:53:16,325 Ing man. Meaning pilot. I'm a pilot. I'm a pilot. 782 00:53:16,327 --> 00:53:19,828 That is so cool. That's what I wanna be when I grow up. 783 00:53:19,830 --> 00:53:21,931 Tell me everything about it. Every single detail. 784 00:53:21,933 --> 00:53:23,799 Son, there is nothing like the feeling 785 00:53:23,801 --> 00:53:26,335 of guiding that bird up to 36,000 feet. 786 00:53:26,337 --> 00:53:27,970 Someday you'll come up with me. 787 00:53:27,972 --> 00:53:32,141 Okay. Why don't you two keep talking, I'm gonna get dessert ready, okay? 788 00:53:32,143 --> 00:53:33,442 Okay. 789 00:53:36,413 --> 00:53:38,647 Wow, there's just so much I didn't know. 790 00:53:38,649 --> 00:53:40,583 Well, now you do. 791 00:53:41,751 --> 00:53:42,985 Any questions? 792 00:53:42,987 --> 00:53:47,089 Yeah, uh, can you still do it if there's only one girl? 793 00:53:47,091 --> 00:53:49,158 Good question, Son. 794 00:53:49,160 --> 00:53:52,861 And the answer, believe it or not, is yes. 795 00:53:52,863 --> 00:53:54,330 I mean, she won't always have a hot roommate 796 00:53:54,332 --> 00:53:56,565 or a college friend visiting from out of town. 797 00:53:56,567 --> 00:53:59,034 On those occasions, you have to make it work. 798 00:53:59,036 --> 00:54:01,237 And where can I get one of these swings? 799 00:54:01,239 --> 00:54:04,607 There are catalogs. Online sex shops. I had mine custom made in Bangkok. 800 00:54:04,609 --> 00:54:08,744 But remember, install it properly. And test it out. 801 00:54:08,746 --> 00:54:10,746 Because you always wanna have... 802 00:54:11,648 --> 00:54:12,948 Safe sex. 803 00:54:12,950 --> 00:54:16,418 Atta boy. That's my boy. Anything else? 804 00:54:16,420 --> 00:54:18,153 Yeah, just one thing. 805 00:54:18,155 --> 00:54:23,826 Should you still do it if you and the girl are, like, in love? 806 00:54:23,828 --> 00:54:27,029 Hmm. I'm gonna have to say no on that one, Son. 807 00:54:27,031 --> 00:54:29,765 There can be a lot of strings attached. 808 00:54:29,767 --> 00:54:33,902 But you know what? You're only 13. You have so much to learn. 809 00:54:33,904 --> 00:54:35,804 I just... I wanted you to have the basics. 810 00:54:35,806 --> 00:54:37,339 Thanks, Dad. I really appreciate it. 811 00:54:37,341 --> 00:54:39,008 Hey, you got it. 812 00:54:39,010 --> 00:54:42,911 Now bring it in here. Huh? All right. That's my boy. 813 00:54:47,918 --> 00:54:49,318 Oh. 814 00:54:49,320 --> 00:54:51,353 Hey, what are you guys doing in here? 815 00:54:51,355 --> 00:54:53,722 Uh, just a little father-son bondage. 816 00:54:55,358 --> 00:54:59,361 Okay. Uh, Donnie, I'm afraid that it's time for you to go to bed. 817 00:54:59,363 --> 00:55:01,563 - Aww. - Can Dad stay over? 818 00:55:03,433 --> 00:55:06,201 - If you like, yeah, he can stay. - Sweet. 819 00:55:06,203 --> 00:55:09,471 The living room? I mean, what if the kid walks in on us? 820 00:55:10,940 --> 00:55:13,208 Hmm, I don't know. 821 00:55:22,419 --> 00:55:24,420 Oh, um, don't forget to lock that. 822 00:55:24,422 --> 00:55:26,902 It's broken, it tends to release. So if you... 823 00:55:27,357 --> 00:55:29,224 Yeah, I think I got it. 824 00:55:33,997 --> 00:55:38,400 So, how come you never tried to find me and tell me about Donnie? 825 00:55:39,569 --> 00:55:43,205 Um, well, because I was... I was really angry. 826 00:55:43,973 --> 00:55:46,909 Angry at you for leaving, 827 00:55:46,911 --> 00:55:50,546 and I didn't think you deserved a son as great as Donnie, 828 00:55:50,548 --> 00:55:52,081 and I don't know, I guess when I saw you at the pool, 829 00:55:52,083 --> 00:55:54,883 I thought maybe the time had come. 830 00:55:54,885 --> 00:55:59,021 Well, April, I wanna do my part. 831 00:55:59,023 --> 00:56:02,057 From now on, I'll give you half my salary for him. 832 00:56:02,059 --> 00:56:05,260 Well, I'll give you 25% of my salary for him. 833 00:56:05,262 --> 00:56:08,897 And on his birthday, well, I'll pick him out something from the sky mall. 834 00:56:08,899 --> 00:56:11,667 A sleep mask, a neck pillow. 835 00:56:11,669 --> 00:56:13,402 Perhaps some nice compression leg sleeves, 836 00:56:13,404 --> 00:56:15,838 ideal for improved circulation on longer flights. 837 00:56:15,840 --> 00:56:18,774 Okay, I think what he'd really like to have is a father in the picture. 838 00:56:18,776 --> 00:56:23,312 I know. You've got to get out there and start dating while you're still hot. 839 00:56:23,314 --> 00:56:24,446 I meant you. 840 00:56:25,148 --> 00:56:26,215 Oh. 841 00:56:27,717 --> 00:56:31,320 Look, I... I know that it's a lot to ask, 842 00:56:31,322 --> 00:56:36,859 but if you, I don't know, if you ever stop flying and settle in the area, you... 843 00:56:36,861 --> 00:56:39,128 You could really be a big part of his life. 844 00:56:39,130 --> 00:56:41,296 Yeah, but how would I even earn a living? 845 00:56:41,298 --> 00:56:44,400 I mean, sure, I could open a studio and teach the Macarena, 846 00:56:44,402 --> 00:56:47,002 but that craze isn't gonna last forever. 847 00:56:47,004 --> 00:56:48,871 April, let's face it. 848 00:56:48,873 --> 00:56:52,875 If you couldn't keep me on the ground, well, nothing could. 849 00:56:54,177 --> 00:56:56,612 Okay, well, just think about it. 850 00:56:57,614 --> 00:56:58,680 Okay. 851 00:57:05,522 --> 00:57:06,688 Oh, not right now? 852 00:57:08,658 --> 00:57:09,958 Just think about it. 853 00:57:09,960 --> 00:57:12,428 Better yet, I'll think about it. 854 00:57:12,430 --> 00:57:13,695 - Okay. - Okay. 855 00:57:13,697 --> 00:57:15,664 Good night, Larry. 856 00:57:15,666 --> 00:57:18,534 Hey, uh, maybe we could have sex. 857 00:57:19,335 --> 00:57:21,437 If you know what I mean. 858 00:57:21,439 --> 00:57:24,306 Okay, if you say the actual thing, then you don't need to say, 859 00:57:24,308 --> 00:57:26,108 "If you know what I mean." 860 00:57:26,110 --> 00:57:27,609 Is that a yes? 861 00:57:27,611 --> 00:57:28,844 That's a no. 862 00:57:28,846 --> 00:57:29,945 - Got it. - Okay. 863 00:57:29,947 --> 00:57:31,213 All right. 864 00:57:52,135 --> 00:57:53,302 Oh. 865 00:57:59,509 --> 00:58:01,076 I said no, Larry. 866 00:58:02,378 --> 00:58:03,445 Oh. 867 00:58:09,786 --> 00:58:11,220 Morning, Son. 868 00:58:11,222 --> 00:58:15,557 Morning, woman with whom passionate unprotected fling resulted in son. 869 00:58:16,292 --> 00:58:17,693 Morning. 870 00:58:17,695 --> 00:58:19,194 Where's your hat, Dad? 871 00:58:19,196 --> 00:58:22,598 - What hat? - Your pilot's hat. 872 00:58:22,600 --> 00:58:27,402 Oh, right. I don't like to wear it when I'm not flying. Too pilot-y. 873 00:58:27,404 --> 00:58:30,138 Which I am, of course. Pilot. I'm a pilot. 874 00:58:30,140 --> 00:58:32,674 Wait, why is your tie tucked into your shirt? 875 00:58:32,676 --> 00:58:35,711 I thought only loser stewardesses did that. 876 00:58:35,713 --> 00:58:36,778 Flight attendants. 877 00:58:38,548 --> 00:58:42,384 Is what those losers prefer to be called, 878 00:58:42,386 --> 00:58:45,554 and this tie-tuck is my way of mocking them. 879 00:58:45,556 --> 00:58:48,090 Losers. Come on, I'll walk you to school. 880 00:58:48,092 --> 00:58:49,858 Oh, actually, I ride a bike. 881 00:58:49,860 --> 00:58:51,226 Not a problem. 882 00:58:55,164 --> 00:58:58,333 Hey, Dad. When I grow up, can I be a pilot just like you? 883 00:58:58,335 --> 00:59:01,069 Of course you can. You can be anything you want, Son. 884 00:59:01,071 --> 00:59:04,473 Just follow your dreams and go wherever they take you. 885 00:59:04,475 --> 00:59:08,443 The good ones, not the weird ones, like when you're naked at a funeral. 886 00:59:08,445 --> 00:59:09,945 Or naked at a petting zoo. 887 00:59:09,947 --> 00:59:11,947 I got it. Thanks, Dad. 888 00:59:11,949 --> 00:59:13,048 You got it, Son. 889 00:59:17,086 --> 00:59:18,453 Let me get that for you, Son. 890 00:59:18,455 --> 00:59:20,689 - Thanks, Dad. - Sure. Straight in there. 891 00:59:20,691 --> 00:59:23,058 Hey, look. It's Donnie Girlparts. 892 00:59:23,060 --> 00:59:25,260 How's your vagina today, Donnie? 893 00:59:25,262 --> 00:59:26,495 Son, you have a vagina? 894 00:59:26,497 --> 00:59:28,330 God, the surprises just keep coming. 895 00:59:28,332 --> 00:59:31,266 No, Dad. They pick on me 'cause they think I'm a wuss. 896 00:59:31,268 --> 00:59:33,068 It's no big deal, okay? 897 00:59:33,070 --> 00:59:34,870 I beg to differ. 898 00:59:34,872 --> 00:59:36,872 Hey, you. 899 00:59:36,874 --> 00:59:39,374 This young man here, he's a Gaye. 900 00:59:39,376 --> 00:59:41,743 And when you mess with a Gaye, 901 00:59:41,745 --> 00:59:43,812 you mess with Gayes everywhere. 902 00:59:43,814 --> 00:59:46,748 And some of us Gayes have a vicious temper. You feel me? 903 00:59:46,750 --> 00:59:48,216 You feel me on that? 904 00:59:49,652 --> 00:59:50,719 Scram! 905 00:59:54,625 --> 00:59:55,691 Thanks, Dad. 906 00:59:55,693 --> 00:59:58,093 Hey, it's what dads do. 907 00:59:59,362 --> 01:00:03,398 So, are you gonna be, like, staying with us from now on? 908 01:00:04,801 --> 01:00:06,602 Well, actually, Son, I... 909 01:00:08,004 --> 01:00:10,439 I... I will. 910 01:00:11,007 --> 01:00:12,674 Of course I will. 911 01:00:12,676 --> 01:00:15,477 What, do you think I'm just gonna abandon you like my own father did? 912 01:00:15,479 --> 01:00:17,679 That I'm gonna choose an empty, transient existence 913 01:00:17,681 --> 01:00:20,716 over a meaningful life with a family that loves me? 914 01:00:20,718 --> 01:00:23,285 What do you got for a guy who chose an empty transient existence 915 01:00:23,287 --> 01:00:27,623 - over a meaningful life with a family that loves him? - Scotch? 916 01:00:27,625 --> 01:00:30,826 - No, I'm American. - Sorry, you look Scotch. 917 01:00:35,898 --> 01:00:39,668 - You're Gaye, right? - Yeah. 918 01:00:39,670 --> 01:00:42,904 Thought so. You remind me of your dad. 919 01:00:46,943 --> 01:00:48,443 Ugh! 920 01:01:07,463 --> 01:01:12,134 Well, Cecile it looks like your award-winning flight attendant 921 01:01:12,136 --> 01:01:15,837 - is 30 minutes late. - That's the type of human error 922 01:01:15,839 --> 01:01:19,441 that you never have to worry about with the Flightpal. 923 01:01:19,443 --> 01:01:22,744 - Wait, wait, wait, wait. Larry's coming, I know he is. - Uh-huh. 924 01:01:22,746 --> 01:01:24,413 Well, he's about 30 minutes late. 925 01:01:24,415 --> 01:01:26,214 - Well, maybe he's stuck in traffic, I don't know. - Really? 926 01:01:26,216 --> 01:01:29,251 - I don't think he's ever gonna show up. - Trust me, he's a hero. 927 01:01:29,253 --> 01:01:31,386 - Mmm-hmm. - He's gonna save all of our jobs. 928 01:01:31,388 --> 01:01:34,990 - I ran out on my own son, everyone. 929 01:01:34,992 --> 01:01:40,228 Yes, I did. Just like my own father ran out on me. 930 01:01:40,230 --> 01:01:45,767 The sins of the fathers laid on the children of the corn. 931 01:01:45,769 --> 01:01:48,937 'Cause I had a chance to stop the cycle of abandonment. Did I? Did I? 932 01:01:49,706 --> 01:01:51,139 Larry! 933 01:01:51,141 --> 01:01:52,661 - No, it's Jack. - Larry. 934 01:01:53,543 --> 01:01:55,944 Oh, boy, this isn't optimal. 935 01:01:57,146 --> 01:02:00,415 - Okay, all right, listen to me. - Okay. 936 01:02:00,417 --> 01:02:01,616 - Okay? - Okay. 937 01:02:01,618 --> 01:02:03,652 I want you to take all this shame, okay, 938 01:02:03,654 --> 01:02:05,821 all this pain that you're feeling right now, 939 01:02:05,823 --> 01:02:08,056 and let's use it, let's channel it. 940 01:02:08,491 --> 01:02:09,758 Let's focus it. 941 01:02:11,427 --> 01:02:14,296 Thank you, Nathan. I needed that. 942 01:02:19,402 --> 01:02:20,769 Phew! 943 01:02:21,604 --> 01:02:22,838 My God, you're hot. 944 01:02:24,273 --> 01:02:26,675 Look, I've got a full-on dinosaur bone in my pants, 945 01:02:26,677 --> 01:02:28,478 and it's not going away any time soon. 946 01:02:30,346 --> 01:02:33,115 Yeah, let's do this. 947 01:02:39,856 --> 01:02:41,356 Attendants ready. 948 01:02:42,258 --> 01:02:44,459 - And go! 949 01:02:49,265 --> 01:02:50,599 And brew! 950 01:03:33,910 --> 01:03:35,143 Good. 951 01:03:55,364 --> 01:03:56,531 Oh! 952 01:03:56,533 --> 01:03:58,733 Ow! 953 01:04:10,914 --> 01:04:12,247 Here we go, are you ready for this? 954 01:04:12,249 --> 01:04:13,849 - Yeah! - All right, she's just a sexy robot. 955 01:04:13,851 --> 01:04:16,117 Just a sexy robot. You're Larry Gaye. 956 01:04:16,119 --> 01:04:18,854 Go! Go get her. 957 01:04:21,724 --> 01:04:23,225 What does this test measure? 958 01:04:23,227 --> 01:04:25,627 We just thought it'd be fun to watch. 959 01:04:25,629 --> 01:04:26,862 - Okay. 960 01:04:50,720 --> 01:04:51,920 Move! 961 01:04:51,922 --> 01:04:53,121 Oh! 962 01:05:05,902 --> 01:05:08,236 Nathan! 963 01:05:08,238 --> 01:05:11,640 - Nathan! - Right here. 964 01:05:11,642 --> 01:05:15,343 Nathan, Nathan, I've done it, Nathan. 965 01:05:16,112 --> 01:05:19,080 - I've done it. - No, you didn't. 966 01:05:20,516 --> 01:05:22,196 - I didn't? - You didn't. 967 01:05:22,652 --> 01:05:24,152 - Oh. - It was ugly. 968 01:05:24,387 --> 01:05:25,587 Oh. 969 01:05:28,591 --> 01:05:32,861 - Okay, Nate, so how am I doing? - All right, I've got you down 970 01:05:32,863 --> 01:05:36,765 30 points to none. 971 01:05:36,767 --> 01:05:40,068 - With one event left. - Huh. I felt it was closer than that. 972 01:05:40,070 --> 01:05:43,171 - It's not. - Well, how can I possibly make up 30 points? 973 01:05:43,173 --> 01:05:45,173 Because customer service is so important, 974 01:05:45,175 --> 01:05:47,242 this final event is worth 31 points. 975 01:05:47,244 --> 01:05:48,543 - Hmm. - Wow, that's convenient. 976 01:05:48,545 --> 01:05:53,248 We're going to present a customer service problem and see who can best solve it. 977 01:05:53,250 --> 01:05:55,550 It's dinner time we have two entrees, 978 01:05:55,552 --> 01:05:58,253 barbeque chicken and pasta primavera. 979 01:05:58,255 --> 01:06:00,722 The problem is, you're all out of pasta. 980 01:06:02,558 --> 01:06:05,193 Good evening, folks, for dinner we have 981 01:06:05,195 --> 01:06:08,730 barbeque chicken or stewed muskrat testicles. 982 01:06:08,732 --> 01:06:10,966 - I'll have the chicken. - Of course you will. 983 01:06:12,368 --> 01:06:15,670 I have barbeque chicken or vomit encrusted rat legs. 984 01:06:15,672 --> 01:06:18,106 Barbeque chicken. - Now, that's programing. 985 01:06:19,709 --> 01:06:22,510 Uh, barbeque chicken or the 986 01:06:22,512 --> 01:06:27,749 sauteed anus of a skunk served on a bed of the anuses of other skunks. 987 01:06:27,751 --> 01:06:29,517 I'll take the chicken. 988 01:06:29,519 --> 01:06:33,555 Barbeque chicken or toe nail fungus in a broth of hobo saliva and crotch sweat. 989 01:06:33,557 --> 01:06:37,425 Barbeque chicken or, uh, bubonic plague 990 01:06:37,427 --> 01:06:40,395 garnished with pigeon droppings and the hand-fluffed pubes 991 01:06:40,397 --> 01:06:43,765 of a fat, old eczema sufferer who just ran a 10k. 992 01:06:43,767 --> 01:06:45,300 Chicken sounds good. - Yeah. 993 01:06:45,302 --> 01:06:48,203 Barbeque chicken or dingleberry-crusted rat tartar 994 01:06:48,205 --> 01:06:52,440 drizzled with pus, served with a warm mug of curdled liposuction fat. 995 01:06:52,442 --> 01:06:53,842 Chicken, please. - Um... 996 01:06:53,844 --> 01:06:57,879 Barbeque chicken or... Or, um... 997 01:06:57,881 --> 01:07:02,384 - Or lobster. I... - Oh, I'll have the lobster. 998 01:07:02,386 --> 01:07:05,387 Yeah, fuck chicken, I want the lobster too. - I don't have lobster. 999 01:07:05,389 --> 01:07:07,605 I only have barbeque chicken. I couldn't think 1000 01:07:07,631 --> 01:07:09,491 of anything else disgusting. I give up. 1001 01:07:09,493 --> 01:07:11,259 Larry Gaye gives up. 1002 01:07:15,765 --> 01:07:17,265 I am amazed. 1003 01:07:18,768 --> 01:07:20,969 I am amazed. 1004 01:07:20,971 --> 01:07:24,172 The winner, by a score of 61 points to zero, 1005 01:07:24,174 --> 01:07:27,208 -is Sally the Flightpal. 1006 01:07:34,483 --> 01:07:35,884 Ugh! 1007 01:07:37,553 --> 01:07:40,355 I don't know how you lost. You were down by 30 points. 1008 01:07:40,357 --> 01:07:43,291 But when they said the last event was for 31, I thought for sure you'd win. 1009 01:07:43,293 --> 01:07:46,261 Nah, things like that only happen in the movies, Nathan. 1010 01:07:46,263 --> 01:07:47,896 This is real life. 1011 01:07:47,898 --> 01:07:49,697 But how did she know how to do that with the arm tray? 1012 01:07:49,699 --> 01:07:52,267 I mean, it's like she knew my every move. But how? 1013 01:07:53,202 --> 01:07:54,502 Isabella. 1014 01:07:56,939 --> 01:08:00,508 The woman who seduced me and with whom I shared all my secrets, 1015 01:08:00,510 --> 01:08:02,977 and then never heard from again. 1016 01:08:02,979 --> 01:08:06,681 You came to support me. I'm truly touched, that is so sweet. 1017 01:08:06,683 --> 01:08:08,016 I don't think that's what happened, Lar. 1018 01:08:08,018 --> 01:08:10,318 I think she plied you for information 1019 01:08:10,320 --> 01:08:12,754 - and used it against you. - Oh. 1020 01:08:12,756 --> 01:08:15,623 Pardon my sidekick, he's embarrassingly naive. 1021 01:08:15,625 --> 01:08:19,260 - How have you been? - Oh, no, he's right, Larry. I'm sorry. 1022 01:08:19,262 --> 01:08:22,597 You deceiving tramp. I never wanna see your lying face again. 1023 01:08:22,599 --> 01:08:27,335 My God, you are so hot! Any chance you're free for dinner? 1024 01:08:27,337 --> 01:08:31,139 - No. - Lunch, tomorrow? Breakfast? 1025 01:08:31,141 --> 01:08:33,141 God! I'm such an idiot! 1026 01:08:34,310 --> 01:08:36,878 I've ruined flight attending for everyone. 1027 01:08:36,880 --> 01:08:39,581 Everyone! Everyone! 1028 01:08:51,994 --> 01:08:54,295 You can be anything you want, Son. Just follow your dreams 1029 01:08:54,297 --> 01:08:56,865 and go wherever they take you. 1030 01:08:56,867 --> 01:08:59,601 - Federated Airlines. 1031 01:08:59,603 --> 01:09:04,839 Hi, this is Larry Gaye. I seem to have forgotten my next assignment. 1032 01:09:04,841 --> 01:09:06,641 Could you tell me where my next flight is? 1033 01:09:06,643 --> 01:09:08,510 Oh, hi, Larry, it's Cristal. 1034 01:09:08,512 --> 01:09:12,347 You've got Flight 37 to Buenos Aires, leaves San Fran tonight at 10:00. 1035 01:09:12,349 --> 01:09:16,451 - Thank you. - Hey, Larry, what are you wearing? 1036 01:09:16,453 --> 01:09:20,188 - Jeans and a hoodie from GAP kids. - Okay. 1037 01:09:34,303 --> 01:09:36,504 - Okay, have a nice flight. - Mmm-hmm. 1038 01:09:37,873 --> 01:09:41,009 - May I help you? - Hi, can I get a ticket from Los Angeles 1039 01:09:41,011 --> 01:09:43,444 to San Francisco, and continuing on from San Francisco 1040 01:09:43,446 --> 01:09:45,146 to Buenos Aires, please? 1041 01:09:45,148 --> 01:09:48,249 Sorry, I'm not allowed to sell tickets to unaccompanied minors. 1042 01:09:54,557 --> 01:09:58,459 I'd like a ticket from Los Angeles to San Francisco, then on to Buenos Aires. 1043 01:09:58,461 --> 01:10:02,063 Sorry, I'm not allowed to sell tickets to unaccompanied miners. 1044 01:10:02,065 --> 01:10:05,466 Oh, no, actually we're together. So... 1045 01:10:06,001 --> 01:10:07,802 Oh, perfect! 1046 01:10:24,587 --> 01:10:27,922 Jeez. What happened? Who brought herpes to the orgy? 1047 01:10:27,924 --> 01:10:29,390 Larry, look. 1048 01:10:33,162 --> 01:10:35,930 - She has herpes? Thanks for the heads-up. - No! 1049 01:10:35,932 --> 01:10:39,300 That's the Flightpal. They say within a year, we'll all be gone. 1050 01:10:39,302 --> 01:10:42,136 - It's devastating. - You say that like it's my fault. 1051 01:10:42,138 --> 01:10:46,507 As if I lost some sort of flight attending contest to save our jobs. 1052 01:10:46,509 --> 01:10:48,610 You did. That's exactly what happened. 1053 01:10:48,612 --> 01:10:51,613 - Disagree not to agree. - You're just combining words. 1054 01:10:51,615 --> 01:10:52,981 Correctly. 1055 01:11:02,558 --> 01:11:06,261 - Sir, can I get you a drink? - Bourbon, rocks. 1056 01:11:06,263 --> 01:11:09,197 It sure does, but I'm afraid I can't serve alcohol to miners. 1057 01:11:11,467 --> 01:11:13,768 - Sparkling water. - Very well. 1058 01:11:16,905 --> 01:11:20,108 - Sir, can I get you a... Son? - Dad! 1059 01:11:21,644 --> 01:11:23,144 What are you doing here? 1060 01:11:23,146 --> 01:11:26,114 Well, I took your advice. You told me to follow my dreams, 1061 01:11:26,116 --> 01:11:28,616 and my dreams are to fly and be with you. 1062 01:11:29,618 --> 01:11:31,152 Donnie, I can't be a part of this. 1063 01:11:31,154 --> 01:11:32,553 I mean, your mother's probably worried sick. 1064 01:11:32,555 --> 01:11:35,456 You get off this plane and go home, this minute. 1065 01:11:35,458 --> 01:11:37,625 - We're at 32,000 feet. - Right. 1066 01:11:37,627 --> 01:11:39,927 Whatever you do, do not get off this plane, 1067 01:11:39,929 --> 01:11:43,398 but we're gonna talk more about this when we get to Buenos Aires. 1068 01:11:44,199 --> 01:11:45,300 Hey, Dad? 1069 01:11:46,769 --> 01:11:48,670 What are you doing back here serving drinks? 1070 01:11:48,672 --> 01:11:51,172 Aren't you supposed to be up front in the cockpit? 1071 01:11:53,143 --> 01:11:56,144 And that's how you serve a drink, 1072 01:11:56,146 --> 01:11:58,479 you lowly, wussified flight attendant. 1073 01:11:58,481 --> 01:12:00,815 God! Don't make me come back here and show you again. 1074 01:12:00,817 --> 01:12:03,885 - I'm way too busy flying the plane. - But, Larry... 1075 01:12:03,887 --> 01:12:07,155 Larry? Who's Larry? I'm not Larry. It's Captain Gaye to you. 1076 01:12:07,157 --> 01:12:10,425 Hey! That's my nickname. 1077 01:12:10,427 --> 01:12:14,595 Huh. Okay. I've gotta get back to work. 1078 01:12:14,597 --> 01:12:18,833 In the cockpit, of course. Which is where I belong, being a pilot. 1079 01:12:18,835 --> 01:12:20,001 I'm a pilot. 1080 01:12:33,349 --> 01:12:35,216 - Look who it is. 1081 01:12:37,152 --> 01:12:38,993 What are you doing up here, Gaye? 1082 01:12:40,489 --> 01:12:43,825 My son is on board and he doesn't know I'm only a... 1083 01:12:43,827 --> 01:12:45,526 - Flying waitress? - Sissy man? 1084 01:12:46,028 --> 01:12:47,495 Ass pansy? 1085 01:12:48,497 --> 01:12:50,698 Come on, guys. Give me a break, okay? 1086 01:12:50,700 --> 01:12:53,901 Just let me stay up here for a while so he doesn't find out. 1087 01:12:53,903 --> 01:12:56,904 Can't help you, Gaye. It's against regulations. 1088 01:13:06,482 --> 01:13:09,617 Hey, why is our fuel level dropping precipitously? 1089 01:13:11,053 --> 01:13:12,487 I don't know. 1090 01:13:19,228 --> 01:13:20,628 Good night. 1091 01:13:25,501 --> 01:13:26,768 Donnie? 1092 01:13:36,912 --> 01:13:40,415 Dear Mom, sorry to sneak out, but I had to go find Dad. 1093 01:13:40,417 --> 01:13:42,383 I rigged the CD recording to start playing 1094 01:13:42,385 --> 01:13:44,519 when you picked up that blank piece of paper. 1095 01:13:44,521 --> 01:13:45,987 Hope it all worked. 1096 01:13:46,755 --> 01:13:48,189 Oh, my God. 1097 01:13:56,198 --> 01:13:59,600 Uh, Lar? We were supposed to start dinner service an hour ago. 1098 01:13:59,602 --> 01:14:02,069 Hey, I think we can wait a while. 1099 01:14:02,071 --> 01:14:05,506 Larry, you can't avoid facing the truth with your son forever. 1100 01:14:05,508 --> 01:14:08,309 He'll accept you whether you're a pilot 1101 01:14:08,311 --> 01:14:10,978 - or a flight attendant. - That's really great advice, Nate. 1102 01:14:10,980 --> 01:14:14,749 Sally, would you mind covering dinner in coach for me with Nathan here? 1103 01:14:14,751 --> 01:14:18,119 I'm just... I'm trying to avoid being seen. It's a long story. 1104 01:14:18,121 --> 01:14:19,353 But I was assigned to first class. 1105 01:14:19,355 --> 01:14:22,924 - Come on, have a heart. - But I don't have a heart. 1106 01:14:22,926 --> 01:14:25,593 - Do you have to take everything so literally? - Yes. 1107 01:14:31,333 --> 01:14:33,134 - Fine. Fine. - Dinner? 1108 01:14:36,506 --> 01:14:38,139 Must be a break in one of the lines. 1109 01:14:38,141 --> 01:14:41,108 According to this, we're losing fuel like crazy. 1110 01:14:41,110 --> 01:14:43,978 This is Federated Flight 37, we've got a situation. 1111 01:14:44,880 --> 01:14:46,614 Chicken and rice, please. 1112 01:14:49,718 --> 01:14:53,488 Uh, ma'am, we have baked ziti and chicken with wild rice. 1113 01:14:53,490 --> 01:14:55,490 Chicken and rice, please. - Dad? 1114 01:14:57,860 --> 01:15:00,161 - Oh. - Dad, are you really a pilot? 1115 01:15:00,163 --> 01:15:03,364 Yeah, I'm just helping out while the plane's on autopilot. 1116 01:15:03,366 --> 01:15:06,100 - Folks, we've just switched off autopilot, 1117 01:15:06,102 --> 01:15:08,536 we're expecting some possible turbulence. 1118 01:15:08,538 --> 01:15:11,973 Oh, that's Felder, my co-pilot, and I am his captain. 1119 01:15:11,975 --> 01:15:14,242 Uh... This is Captain Bryce, 1120 01:15:14,244 --> 01:15:15,843 just want to let you know you're in good hands 1121 01:15:15,845 --> 01:15:17,912 with me and my co-pilot, Felder, up here. 1122 01:15:17,914 --> 01:15:20,181 It's the two of us flying this plane, 1123 01:15:20,183 --> 01:15:23,384 definitely no one else in the cockpit. 1124 01:15:25,721 --> 01:15:26,888 Dad? 1125 01:15:27,789 --> 01:15:29,924 Oh, Son, you're too smart for me. 1126 01:15:29,926 --> 01:15:31,392 I'm... 1127 01:15:32,327 --> 01:15:34,161 I'm a... 1128 01:15:34,163 --> 01:15:35,496 I'm a flight attendant. 1129 01:15:37,332 --> 01:15:39,700 Why did you lie to me? 1130 01:15:39,702 --> 01:15:43,905 I just felt that if you knew, you'd judge me or think less of me. 1131 01:15:43,907 --> 01:15:45,273 I guess it was just my own insecurity. 1132 01:15:45,275 --> 01:15:46,541 I should have given you more credit. 1133 01:15:46,543 --> 01:15:48,442 You pussy! You're pathetic! 1134 01:15:48,444 --> 01:15:51,812 Okay, my dad's a waitress with wings. A sissy man. 1135 01:15:51,814 --> 01:15:54,148 Don't forget ass pansy. 1136 01:16:05,260 --> 01:16:07,328 Uh... 1137 01:16:07,931 --> 01:16:11,660 At this time, we'd like to ask flight attendant 1138 01:16:11,686 --> 01:16:14,535 Larry Gaye to report to the cockpit. 1139 01:16:14,537 --> 01:16:17,305 To all you passengers, nothing to worry about, 1140 01:16:17,307 --> 01:16:20,207 certainly no blown fuel lines or 1141 01:16:20,209 --> 01:16:21,976 anything of that nature. 1142 01:16:26,381 --> 01:16:28,382 Gaye, we think the main fuel line is blown, 1143 01:16:28,384 --> 01:16:31,185 and we might have to make an emergency landing. 1144 01:16:31,187 --> 01:16:35,089 And, well, neither of us have actually ever done one before. 1145 01:16:35,091 --> 01:16:37,725 And back in flight school, you were the best at it. 1146 01:16:37,727 --> 01:16:40,227 So, we're sorry. 1147 01:16:40,229 --> 01:16:42,563 You gotta help us, Larry. We're scared. 1148 01:16:42,565 --> 01:16:47,435 You spent all those years abusing me, and now, all of a sudden, you need me. 1149 01:16:47,437 --> 01:16:51,639 I don't know, guys, I mean, I'm just a lowly waitress with wings. 1150 01:16:51,641 --> 01:16:55,176 A sissy man, an ass pansy, if you will. 1151 01:16:55,178 --> 01:16:58,946 How could I possibly help you big, strong, superior pilots? 1152 01:16:58,948 --> 01:17:01,349 Look, we're sorry for all the stuff that we ever said. 1153 01:17:01,351 --> 01:17:03,017 Yeah, yeah, we never meant it. 1154 01:17:03,019 --> 01:17:05,519 You know, I do. I say these things sometimes. 1155 01:17:05,521 --> 01:17:07,188 - Well... - I don't know why. 1156 01:17:07,190 --> 01:17:10,891 - All right, it's okay. - I'm not a good person, Larry. 1157 01:17:10,893 --> 01:17:13,961 - I forgive you. Now... - My mom didn't hold me enough, 1158 01:17:13,963 --> 01:17:17,131 and when she did, it was always at a weird distance. 1159 01:17:17,133 --> 01:17:18,532 Like... 1160 01:17:19,668 --> 01:17:23,404 The way you'd hold a spool of barbed wire, 1161 01:17:23,406 --> 01:17:27,341 or an angry raccoon, not a lonely little boy. 1162 01:17:27,343 --> 01:17:31,245 Maybe to compensate, my grandmother was overly affectionate. 1163 01:17:31,247 --> 01:17:35,049 She would hold me tight against her ample bosom, 1164 01:17:35,051 --> 01:17:39,754 keep me nestled in there long after it became difficult to breathe. 1165 01:17:40,022 --> 01:17:41,455 And yet, 1166 01:17:42,624 --> 01:17:44,258 on one level, 1167 01:17:45,427 --> 01:17:47,628 I think I liked it. 1168 01:17:47,630 --> 01:17:50,564 She smelled like nutmeg. Autumn. 1169 01:17:51,867 --> 01:17:53,701 Okay, guys, listen, we need... 1170 01:17:53,703 --> 01:17:55,069 I once pleasured myself 1171 01:17:55,071 --> 01:17:58,105 to the image of my grandma jumping on a trampoline. 1172 01:18:01,209 --> 01:18:02,877 I will help land the plane. 1173 01:18:04,846 --> 01:18:06,080 Up. 1174 01:18:08,617 --> 01:18:14,021 Oh, but first, Captain Felder, I'll need a cup of coffee. 1175 01:18:14,023 --> 01:18:18,159 One sugar and just a skosh of cream. 1176 01:18:19,828 --> 01:18:22,563 Federated 37 to ground control. 1177 01:18:22,565 --> 01:18:24,965 Come in, Bryce. You got Herb Donkins here. 1178 01:18:24,967 --> 01:18:26,767 Actually, there's been a slight change, Herb. 1179 01:18:26,769 --> 01:18:28,969 From now on, the man you'll be talking to is Gaye. 1180 01:18:28,971 --> 01:18:32,273 Oh! Well, good for you, Bryce. Have you told your wife? 1181 01:18:32,275 --> 01:18:34,408 No, Larry Gaye. I'm a flight attendant, 1182 01:18:34,410 --> 01:18:36,043 and I'm gonna bring this bird down. 1183 01:18:36,045 --> 01:18:37,978 Well, that's against FAA rules. 1184 01:18:37,980 --> 01:18:42,583 Look, if you want these people on the ground in one piece, 1185 01:18:42,585 --> 01:18:46,353 then I'm bringing her down. Now, here's what I'm thinking. 1186 01:18:46,355 --> 01:18:49,006 If we have enough fuel to reach the ocean... 1187 01:18:49,032 --> 01:18:49,890 - Larry... 1188 01:18:49,892 --> 01:18:53,828 - What? Hello? Hello? - Larry? 1189 01:18:53,830 --> 01:18:56,163 Come in. Come in, damn it. 1190 01:18:56,165 --> 01:18:58,032 Okay, you don't have to yell. 1191 01:18:58,034 --> 01:18:59,834 I left room in case you want some more cream. 1192 01:18:59,836 --> 01:19:01,368 I can't hear a damn thing! 1193 01:19:01,370 --> 01:19:04,038 I said I left room in case you want to add some more cream! 1194 01:19:04,040 --> 01:19:05,506 Damn it! Where'd you go? 1195 01:19:05,508 --> 01:19:07,842 To get coffee, like you asked me to! 1196 01:19:09,444 --> 01:19:11,345 Would you like some Chardonnay? 1197 01:19:11,347 --> 01:19:14,181 - Or perhaps some Cabernet-Franc - What the hell is that? 1198 01:19:14,183 --> 01:19:16,817 It's a combination of Cabernet and Merlot, 1199 01:19:16,819 --> 01:19:20,321 pairs well with savory meats like pork, lamb. 1200 01:19:20,323 --> 01:19:21,889 The signals are crossed with the Flightpal. 1201 01:19:21,891 --> 01:19:23,157 That's why we've lost our radio. 1202 01:19:23,159 --> 01:19:25,039 Somebody's gotta take out the Flightpal. 1203 01:19:25,060 --> 01:19:26,994 Bryce, hold our course. 1204 01:19:26,996 --> 01:19:28,095 I'll be right back. 1205 01:19:34,402 --> 01:19:37,872 - Coffee smells good. - Don't touch anything. 1206 01:19:37,874 --> 01:19:39,740 Hey, Larry, what the hell is going on? 1207 01:19:39,742 --> 01:19:41,108 What's this about a blown fuel line? 1208 01:19:41,110 --> 01:19:42,209 No time to explain. 1209 01:19:49,919 --> 01:19:51,919 Take that, robot bitch. 1210 01:19:51,921 --> 01:19:53,921 Uh, Larry. 1211 01:19:53,923 --> 01:19:55,055 That's not her. 1212 01:19:55,057 --> 01:19:56,497 - No? - No. 1213 01:19:59,294 --> 01:20:00,861 There you are. 1214 01:20:00,863 --> 01:20:03,164 - May I help you? - Yes, you may. 1215 01:20:11,973 --> 01:20:14,441 I said power down all electronic devices. 1216 01:20:19,414 --> 01:20:21,348 Dad, what's goin' on? 1217 01:20:21,350 --> 01:20:23,751 Son, how would you like to come up to the cockpit 1218 01:20:23,753 --> 01:20:27,855 and watch your old man attempt an incredibly dangerous emergency landing? 1219 01:20:34,996 --> 01:20:38,666 This is Federated 37 to ground control. Come in, ground control. 1220 01:20:38,668 --> 01:20:41,335 Uh, we read you, Larry, but you're dropping like a stone. 1221 01:20:42,871 --> 01:20:44,972 According to our gauge, we have about 30 miles of air left. 1222 01:20:44,974 --> 01:20:46,974 We're about 30 miles from Los Angeles. 1223 01:20:46,976 --> 01:20:48,909 Then that's where we're going. 1224 01:20:48,911 --> 01:20:50,811 Can we get clearance at LAX? 1225 01:20:50,813 --> 01:20:53,247 Okay, we're gonna clear all runways. Take your pick. 1226 01:20:53,249 --> 01:20:57,284 Wait, um, would it make more sense to put the plane towards a less populated area, 1227 01:20:57,286 --> 01:20:59,353 in case we don't have enough fuel to make it? 1228 01:20:59,355 --> 01:21:01,789 Son, this is no time for naive questions. 1229 01:21:01,791 --> 01:21:04,258 It's time for heroic yet impulsive actions. 1230 01:21:04,260 --> 01:21:06,527 Now remember, every second... 1231 01:21:09,030 --> 01:21:11,532 - Larry? - Dad? 1232 01:21:14,769 --> 01:21:16,971 Yeah, he's, um... He's 13 years old, 1233 01:21:16,973 --> 01:21:18,672 and I think he's on one of your flights. 1234 01:21:18,674 --> 01:21:20,241 And in a bizarre turn of events, we've learned that 1235 01:21:20,243 --> 01:21:22,676 - a flight attendant is going to attempt... - Do you know Larry Gaye? 1236 01:21:22,678 --> 01:21:25,346 - He could be with him, right? - ...an emergency landing at LAX. 1237 01:21:25,348 --> 01:21:27,281 As this harrowing story develops, 1238 01:21:27,283 --> 01:21:30,317 we're joined by flight attendant Steven Slater. 1239 01:21:30,319 --> 01:21:31,785 Hi, Tanya, great to be here. 1240 01:21:31,787 --> 01:21:32,887 He's the former... 1241 01:21:39,160 --> 01:21:40,928 Cheese and crackers, how did we get so low? 1242 01:21:40,930 --> 01:21:42,296 You fell asleep. 1243 01:21:42,298 --> 01:21:44,265 Larry, you are eight miles from LAX. 1244 01:21:44,267 --> 01:21:45,966 How much fuel do you have left? 1245 01:21:45,968 --> 01:21:48,569 Uh, not eight miles' worth. 1246 01:21:48,571 --> 01:21:51,071 There's only one thing we can do. 1247 01:21:51,073 --> 01:21:53,274 - Urban Landing. - Don't be an idiot. 1248 01:21:53,276 --> 01:21:55,376 - It's far too risky. - It's never been done. 1249 01:21:57,178 --> 01:21:59,179 Nathan, I need you up here now. 1250 01:22:00,081 --> 01:22:01,749 Herb, we can't make it to the airport. 1251 01:22:01,751 --> 01:22:03,984 I'm going to bring her down in the city. 1252 01:22:03,986 --> 01:22:07,054 Passengers are kind of freakin' out back there. So I thought... 1253 01:22:07,056 --> 01:22:08,322 Get your priorities straight, Nathan. 1254 01:22:08,324 --> 01:22:10,157 This is gonna be huge. 1255 01:22:10,159 --> 01:22:11,592 Herb, did you read me? 1256 01:22:11,594 --> 01:22:13,460 We need to land in the city. 1257 01:22:13,462 --> 01:22:16,463 I am sorry, Larry. My shift is ending. 1258 01:22:16,465 --> 01:22:18,599 I'm gonna have to turn you over to Russ Peterson. 1259 01:22:18,601 --> 01:22:20,734 - Have a good one. - What? You can't do that. 1260 01:22:20,736 --> 01:22:23,737 Hey, Larry, Russ Peterson here. 1261 01:22:23,739 --> 01:22:26,707 Uh, okay, Russ, we're in a dire emergency. 1262 01:22:26,709 --> 01:22:29,243 - We're gonna run out of fuel any second. - Whoa, whoa, whoa. 1263 01:22:29,245 --> 01:22:30,945 Hold on, Larry, I just got here. 1264 01:22:30,947 --> 01:22:32,446 Give me a chance to settle in. 1265 01:22:32,448 --> 01:22:34,214 Okay, I'm just... 1266 01:22:34,216 --> 01:22:35,916 I'm taking my jacket off. 1267 01:22:35,918 --> 01:22:38,385 Hey, is that a birthday cake? Who's birthday is it? 1268 01:22:38,955 --> 01:22:43,824 Happy birthday, big thug. Come here, let me give you a hug. 1269 01:22:43,826 --> 01:22:46,327 Okay, I'm just going to grab myself a little cake here. 1270 01:22:57,172 --> 01:22:59,773 Okay, I'm back. Now, you were saying? 1271 01:22:59,775 --> 01:23:03,444 We're running out of fuel. I need to land this plane in Los Angeles. 1272 01:23:03,446 --> 01:23:06,647 - Larry, that's never... - I know, it's never, but I'm doing it now. 1273 01:23:07,148 --> 01:23:08,849 Son... 1274 01:23:08,851 --> 01:23:11,352 If we don't make it, I just want you to know, 1275 01:23:12,253 --> 01:23:14,355 - I love you. - We might not make it? 1276 01:23:14,357 --> 01:23:16,490 Of course we're going to make it. 1277 01:23:16,492 --> 01:23:18,492 - Huh, yeah - Yeah. 1278 01:23:20,261 --> 01:23:21,595 Just how good are you? 1279 01:23:22,630 --> 01:23:24,164 Damn, he's good. 1280 01:23:25,567 --> 01:23:27,434 You're a legend. 1281 01:23:27,436 --> 01:23:30,270 Just follow your dreams and go wherever they take you. 1282 01:23:30,972 --> 01:23:33,340 I have a private bunk 1283 01:23:33,342 --> 01:23:35,776 with the only bathtub in this whole facility. 1284 01:23:35,778 --> 01:23:40,214 - Larry? Do you read me? - Okay. Roger, Russ. 1285 01:23:40,216 --> 01:23:42,716 This is Federated 37 heavy, coming in on 1286 01:23:42,718 --> 01:23:47,321 uncleared course 45, vector 16, bearing two-niner-zero. 1287 01:23:47,323 --> 01:23:48,455 Urban landing. 1288 01:23:48,457 --> 01:23:50,858 I repeat, urban landing. 1289 01:23:50,860 --> 01:23:52,593 Roger that, Captain Gaye. 1290 01:23:52,595 --> 01:23:55,396 Ladies and gentlemen, this is your pilot speaking. 1291 01:23:55,964 --> 01:23:57,731 Prepare for arrival. 1292 01:23:57,733 --> 01:24:00,734 Oh, and if we survive, baggage can be found on carousel 3. 1293 01:24:23,324 --> 01:24:25,192 Uh, do I have space? 1294 01:24:25,194 --> 01:24:27,127 Wait, wait, wait, after the minivan. 1295 01:24:35,570 --> 01:24:37,650 Uh, this guy's going to let us in. Thank you. 1296 01:24:49,484 --> 01:24:52,019 Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa! 1297 01:24:53,321 --> 01:24:55,522 Okay, okay, okay. 1298 01:24:56,124 --> 01:24:57,691 Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa! 1299 01:25:00,596 --> 01:25:03,530 Wheels down. Repeat, we have wheels on the ground. 1300 01:25:03,532 --> 01:25:05,666 Oh! Oh, thank God, Larry. 1301 01:25:05,668 --> 01:25:07,909 Completed an urban landing on a southbound freeway. 1302 01:25:12,607 --> 01:25:16,310 Ah! You're one cool customer, Gaye. 1303 01:25:16,312 --> 01:25:18,645 I would've peed in my pants. 1304 01:25:18,647 --> 01:25:20,547 Ha! That's ridiculous. 1305 01:25:20,549 --> 01:25:23,250 Larry! Larry! Larry! 1306 01:25:26,621 --> 01:25:28,722 Dad, I'm sorry I thought 1307 01:25:28,724 --> 01:25:30,791 it was lame to be a flight attendant. 1308 01:25:30,793 --> 01:25:34,528 That's okay, Son. Look, if it's one thing that I teach you in this lifetime, 1309 01:25:34,530 --> 01:25:36,530 it's that, well, 1310 01:25:36,532 --> 01:25:40,334 it's that flight attendants pull every bit as much ass as pilots. 1311 01:25:41,436 --> 01:25:43,403 - Love you, Dad. - Thanks, Son. 1312 01:25:43,405 --> 01:25:44,805 Bring it here. 1313 01:25:48,343 --> 01:25:51,311 Okay, Lar, let's just get off at this exit, 1314 01:25:51,313 --> 01:25:53,147 and we can head back to the airport. 1315 01:25:53,149 --> 01:25:54,681 Not yet. 1316 01:25:54,683 --> 01:25:56,550 I got a stop to make first. 1317 01:26:44,265 --> 01:26:47,067 Uh, yep. There it is. 1318 01:27:17,432 --> 01:27:18,699 Donnie! 1319 01:27:22,003 --> 01:27:23,470 Cross your arms. 1320 01:27:37,152 --> 01:27:39,453 My goodness, Donnie! 1321 01:27:39,455 --> 01:27:41,622 Donnie, I was worried sick! 1322 01:27:47,629 --> 01:27:50,230 I'm sorry. I just really missed Dad. 1323 01:27:50,232 --> 01:27:53,500 Well, honey, you're gonna have to learn how to deal with that. 1324 01:27:53,502 --> 01:27:55,703 Daddy doesn't live here. His home is in the sky. 1325 01:27:56,271 --> 01:27:57,671 Go get into bed, okay? 1326 01:27:57,673 --> 01:27:59,273 Okay. 1327 01:28:03,211 --> 01:28:04,578 Bye, Dad. 1328 01:28:05,146 --> 01:28:06,480 Bye, Son. 1329 01:28:08,983 --> 01:28:10,684 Thanks for bringing him home. 1330 01:28:11,786 --> 01:28:13,387 Actually, 1331 01:28:13,389 --> 01:28:15,789 I did a little thinking up there, 1332 01:28:15,791 --> 01:28:19,092 while I was saving 200 people from a fiery death. 1333 01:28:20,161 --> 01:28:21,428 Yeah? 1334 01:28:21,430 --> 01:28:22,696 I thought about how, 1335 01:28:23,998 --> 01:28:27,401 of all the great times I've had in my life, 1336 01:28:27,403 --> 01:28:30,237 the greatest, the greatest, 1337 01:28:31,339 --> 01:28:32,806 was the time I spent with you. 1338 01:28:35,209 --> 01:28:36,877 Then why did you leave? 1339 01:28:36,879 --> 01:28:39,112 Because I was an idiot, 1340 01:28:39,114 --> 01:28:41,481 who thought that not being tied down 1341 01:28:41,483 --> 01:28:43,884 and going from woman to woman 1342 01:28:43,886 --> 01:28:45,919 to woman, to, in some cases, 1343 01:28:45,921 --> 01:28:48,522 - women, plural. - Go on. 1344 01:28:48,524 --> 01:28:50,490 Would be a fun, fulfilling lifestyle, 1345 01:28:50,492 --> 01:28:53,860 but the truth is, it was soulless and empty. 1346 01:28:53,862 --> 01:28:57,264 All that meaningless sex was just filling a hole. 1347 01:28:57,266 --> 01:28:58,899 And by hole, I don't mean vagina. 1348 01:28:58,901 --> 01:29:00,967 Or in some cases, I guess I do mean vagina. 1349 01:29:00,969 --> 01:29:02,135 I know what you mean. 1350 01:29:02,137 --> 01:29:03,370 April... 1351 01:29:04,639 --> 01:29:07,040 Is there any chance you could 1352 01:29:07,042 --> 01:29:08,575 see your way clear to 1353 01:29:08,577 --> 01:29:10,077 taking this idiot back? 1354 01:29:10,678 --> 01:29:13,313 Oh, gosh, Larry. 1355 01:29:13,315 --> 01:29:15,782 Did you really think you could just waltz back into my life 1356 01:29:15,784 --> 01:29:19,386 because you were finally ready and I'd be sitting here waiting for you? 1357 01:29:20,555 --> 01:29:22,155 Kind of, yeah. 1358 01:29:27,095 --> 01:29:28,428 Oh, no. 1359 01:29:29,330 --> 01:29:31,031 It's too late. 1360 01:29:31,033 --> 01:29:32,733 You've moved on. 1361 01:29:33,568 --> 01:29:34,868 You were the one thing in my life 1362 01:29:34,870 --> 01:29:36,236 that was real and true, 1363 01:29:36,238 --> 01:29:37,571 and I blew it. 1364 01:29:38,439 --> 01:29:40,073 Gah! 1365 01:29:40,075 --> 01:29:42,376 How could I have thought you would've waited for me? 1366 01:29:42,378 --> 01:29:44,544 Stupid Larry! Stupid Larry! 1367 01:29:45,980 --> 01:29:48,348 God, please, 1368 01:29:48,350 --> 01:29:51,651 let me drown in this ocean of despair. 1369 01:29:52,487 --> 01:29:54,221 Without this woman in my life, 1370 01:29:54,989 --> 01:29:57,057 I don't want to live. 1371 01:29:57,059 --> 01:29:58,925 I don't want to live! 1372 01:29:58,927 --> 01:30:00,460 Murphy bed's all fixed. 1373 01:30:00,462 --> 01:30:01,695 Thank you, Karl. 1374 01:30:03,131 --> 01:30:04,264 Oh. 1375 01:30:05,833 --> 01:30:07,434 Larry... 1376 01:30:07,436 --> 01:30:10,203 Listen, when you left and I never heard from you again, 1377 01:30:10,205 --> 01:30:12,139 that hurt me. 1378 01:30:12,141 --> 01:30:16,643 But when you left Donnie, that didn't just hurt me, that hurt him. 1379 01:30:16,645 --> 01:30:19,413 I know, and I didn't want to leave. 1380 01:30:20,915 --> 01:30:22,916 But I didn't believe I could be any better at fatherhood 1381 01:30:22,918 --> 01:30:24,885 than my own father was. 1382 01:30:26,020 --> 01:30:29,055 But then I landed that plane safely, 1383 01:30:29,057 --> 01:30:32,092 and I realized that I can take care of my son. 1384 01:30:32,094 --> 01:30:34,795 And being with him, and being with you, 1385 01:30:36,397 --> 01:30:38,965 that'll keep me on the ground for good. 1386 01:30:38,967 --> 01:30:40,887 So you'll really not fly anymore? 1387 01:30:45,106 --> 01:30:46,206 Oh! 1388 01:30:47,074 --> 01:30:49,142 Well, that is shockingly painful. 1389 01:30:49,144 --> 01:30:51,411 Like, more than I would have ever imagined. 1390 01:30:51,413 --> 01:30:53,780 Come here, Larry Elizabeth Gaye. 1391 01:30:53,782 --> 01:30:56,850 I'm coming, April Elizabeth Fornicowsky. 1392 01:30:56,852 --> 01:30:58,852 And by coming, I mean approaching, not ejaculating... 1393 01:30:58,854 --> 01:31:00,353 I know what you mean. 1394 01:31:04,859 --> 01:31:06,193 Aww! 1395 01:31:15,002 --> 01:31:17,337 Donnie! Donnie! 1396 01:31:20,908 --> 01:31:22,509 Daddy's staying. 1397 01:31:22,511 --> 01:31:24,444 - Really? - Yes, really. 1398 01:31:29,584 --> 01:31:31,785 It's okay, guys. You can go. 1399 01:31:59,680 --> 01:32:03,416 And so, I retired my apron, 1400 01:32:03,418 --> 01:32:07,153 leaving the door open for someone else to finally win 1401 01:32:07,155 --> 01:32:08,722 the Golden Coffee Pot. 1402 01:32:10,024 --> 01:32:12,726 And because of the way the wiring interfered with the plane's radios, 1403 01:32:12,728 --> 01:32:17,531 Federated Airlines was forced to abandon the Flightpal project. 1404 01:32:17,533 --> 01:32:20,233 Three weeks after that fateful flight, 1405 01:32:20,235 --> 01:32:23,236 I landed April, my beautiful bride 1406 01:32:23,238 --> 01:32:24,838 and mother of my wonderful, 1407 01:32:24,840 --> 01:32:28,408 and no longer bastard, son Donnie. 1408 01:32:28,410 --> 01:32:30,582 And the feeling of crushing empty loneliness 1409 01:32:30,608 --> 01:32:32,512 that dogged me through the years, well, 1410 01:32:32,514 --> 01:32:34,714 turned out to be a gluten allergy. 1411 01:32:34,716 --> 01:32:36,349 Six months later, I found myself 1412 01:32:36,351 --> 01:32:38,652 at a bookstore in downtown LA, 1413 01:32:38,654 --> 01:32:41,988 reading this last chapter of my book. 1414 01:32:41,990 --> 01:32:44,124 And then something unbelievable happened. 1415 01:32:44,959 --> 01:32:46,960 I looked up and saw... 1416 01:32:54,368 --> 01:32:55,468 Dad? 1417 01:33:00,875 --> 01:33:02,008 Dad! 1418 01:33:04,512 --> 01:33:05,845 It's me! 1419 01:33:08,783 --> 01:33:10,617 - Larry. - Larry. Larry. 1420 01:33:12,554 --> 01:33:14,621 You look wonderful, Son. 1421 01:33:16,324 --> 01:33:18,959 You too, Dad. 1422 01:33:18,961 --> 01:33:22,829 You must have come to ask my forgiveness for walking out all those years ago, 1423 01:33:22,831 --> 01:33:25,231 and to beg me to allow you back into my life. 1424 01:33:26,867 --> 01:33:30,503 That's exactly right, Larry, that's why I'm here. 1425 01:33:31,639 --> 01:33:34,474 Well, there was a time... 1426 01:33:34,476 --> 01:33:38,778 There was a time I would've told you to stick several unwieldy objects in your ass. 1427 01:33:40,281 --> 01:33:42,782 A porcupine, a six iron 1428 01:33:42,784 --> 01:33:44,718 a French horn, 1429 01:33:44,720 --> 01:33:46,286 ceramic pineapple. 1430 01:33:47,355 --> 01:33:48,555 But... 1431 01:33:49,957 --> 01:33:52,659 I've learned a little something about fatherhood. 1432 01:33:56,497 --> 01:33:57,664 So... 1433 01:33:58,866 --> 01:34:00,166 Whoo! 1434 01:34:00,935 --> 01:34:02,402 I forgive you, Dad. 1435 01:34:02,404 --> 01:34:03,804 - Oh... - Welcome back into my life. 1436 01:34:03,805 --> 01:34:05,205 Oh! 1437 01:34:05,207 --> 01:34:08,308 Thank God. Thank God! 1438 01:34:08,909 --> 01:34:10,310 Oh, that is... 1439 01:34:10,312 --> 01:34:12,979 - That is such a huge relief. - Oh! 1440 01:34:12,981 --> 01:34:14,247 I know. - Boy, oh, boy. 1441 01:34:14,249 --> 01:34:16,549 I know. 1442 01:34:16,551 --> 01:34:18,618 - For me, too. For me, too. - Yeah, yeah. 1443 01:34:20,254 --> 01:34:21,521 Uh... 1444 01:34:21,523 --> 01:34:23,723 You got to give me a second. I got to move my car. 1445 01:34:23,725 --> 01:34:25,825 - I'm double parked. - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 1446 01:34:27,062 --> 01:34:28,561 I'll be right back. 1447 01:34:28,563 --> 01:34:29,763 - You got it, Dad. - You got it. 1448 01:34:29,765 --> 01:34:30,897 You got it. 1449 01:34:30,899 --> 01:34:33,199 - You got it! 1450 01:34:39,907 --> 01:34:41,041 Ah! 1451 01:34:44,178 --> 01:34:47,614 I can't wait to resume my relationship with that guy. 1452 01:34:48,516 --> 01:34:49,582 Oh! 1453 01:34:50,618 --> 01:34:52,185 Uh... 1454 01:34:52,187 --> 01:34:54,888 Anyway, anyway... 1455 01:34:56,257 --> 01:34:58,825 Then I closed the book 1456 01:34:58,827 --> 01:35:00,493 to thunderous applause. 1457 01:35:06,167 --> 01:35:08,935 Uh, it said "thunderous applause." 1458 01:37:05,954 --> 01:37:07,687 - Four seems like plenty. - Fine.